Well done Hannah! Hypnobirthers don't have to be serene! x
"Hi, I just wanted to say thanks! I bought your online course early on in my pregnancy and listened to the tracks throughout. They were the only things that would get me back to sleep during the inevitable bouts of insomnia I had from about 20 weeks.
I was hoping to have a home birth, but due to IUGR was induced at 40+1 weeks. I had previously had a bad experience with induction so your tracks were essential to approaching the induction positively, as an active participant. I have a morbid fear of VEs, so the breathing exercises really helped there as well.
Labour-wise - well, it was quick! 2.5hours following ARM, 12 min second stage and 17 min third stage and all 6lb 12oz of my baby flew into the world. As such, I didn't make it into the pool and was probably more determined than serene!
I recall making what I like to think of as warrior woman primal birth sounds - which my husband described as "sounding like a zombie yak". It was strange, though: I never felt out of control, and managed to dilate from 1-10 cm in - well, very little time - and birth my baby and his placenta on just gas and air.
Part of my brain was in primal mode, while the other part was thinking very analytically. I probably am not the typical example of a hypnobirthing mama, but there's no doubt it worked - I was out of bed and in the shower half hour later.
Anyway, i found all the birth stories (especially the positive induction ones) very helpful and inspiring leading up to my birth, especially as I really hadn't wanted another induction"
"Thank you so much for everything- I was very anxious throughout my pregnancy, and working with you really helped me manage this.
Baby William was born on Wednesday, with an elected caesarean due to his estimated weight of over 10lbs. In the end he was 9lbs 11oz, and the theatre staff were very clear we had made the right decision!
I was initially super nervous about the section- it was not the birth we wanted, and we thought long and hard about it! Your c section resource was invaluable- I listened to it every day, and on the morning of William’s birth."
The story of our baby Bess's birth, by Rosie and Tim
A lot of this birth story took place before the birth itself! As with our son Wilfrid, born 5 years before, we had planned a home birth and felt very prepared for that (see diagram below!)
Our carefully prepared home birth room! All of the mental/physical time taken over this undoubtedly helped us when considering new scenarios. However, as Rosie went further past 40 weeks things got a little trickier. The first week 'overdue' was very much expected since Wilfrid had been born at 41 wks + 4 days, however at the end of that first week Rosie felt quite emotional perhaps as the memory of facing the ‘induction deadline' resurfaced.
In the second week 'overdue' we expected things to get going, especially as Rosie was around 3cm dilated and the baby was well into the pelvis. However we agreed we’d be happy to go in for monitoring at the 42 week mark, to check all was well with baby. We took lots of stuff to the hospital in case anything was indicated in the monitoring to suggest the baby needed to come out immediately! Happily, all monitoring was entirely normal: the baby’s heartrate, the ‘cord resistance’ (blood flow to/from placenta) and amount of amniotic fluid. As throughout the entire pregnancy, Rosie’s stats were also good, although with a slightly low temperature (she had had a cold all week).
We then spoke with a consultant, who was clearly in favour of induction and painted a slightly one-sided picture (i.e. the risks of induction were not discussed). However it was clear it was our choice to make, and we had already planned to undertake expectant management (continued monitoring but declining induction) for a bit longer, if monitoring was all fine. A growth scan was booked in for Monday and, after quite a long day in the hospital, we returned home.
On Sunday, Rosie spent some time talking to others who were experienced in this type of situation, both independent midwives and women who had gone ‘post dates’; she also had a detailed post dates/induction plan made by another mum which was very helpful.
At Monday’s growth scan (42 wks+ 2 days) the cord resistance and amniotic fluid levels were again normal, and the baby’s size was predicted as 8lb 6oz. Very kindly another doctor took a long time with us to discuss options. We booked for monitoring again on Thursday (42 wks + 5 days), with the possibility of going for induction on that day, partly since this was the date we thought was more likely to be 42 wks (we think the official due date was out by several days). After another quite long day at the hospital (we also visited the birth centre but their policy is not to take women past 42 wks), we went back home. On Tuesday Rosie contacted several women she knew who had either undergone induction or a C-section at our hospital in the recent weeks. They offered some very helpful ‘tips’ and related their experiences. We started to create a new plan for an induction birth at the hospital, in order to keep making positive and informed decisions ourselves rather than ending up being swept along by events.
On Wednesday we went for our midwife appointment and Rosie had another ‘stretch and sweep’ – little had seemingly changed since the Friday before which was a little disheartening. Apart from that we tried to relax as far as possible. Thursday ended up being our decision day. We went into hospital for the third time for monitoring – again all fine – and spoke at length with another consultant. We had decided Tim would speak with the consultant first, on his own, since it was really quite stressful for Rosie, and then we would discuss between ourselves. Deciding to have Tim take on a lot of the information gathering role was really helpful since much of the stats on bad outcomes (stillbirth, hypoxia etc) are quite emotive. Over the course of the day, after considering lots of options, we came up with a plan that we would opt for induction via Artificial Rupture of Membranes (ARM, breaking the waters) on Saturday (43 wks).
The hope was that, having had one previous normal birth, it was very likely this would kick-start things and get contractions going via Rosie’s hormones. The consultant we spoke to took a lot of care and answered our many questions, and it felt we were able to make informed decisions ourselves.
Throughout these weeks our family were very good at not bothering us, although it was impossible to not get a bit of a sense of anxiety from them as the days ticked on! The actual birth!
Things had not got going naturally and so, on Saturday 29th June 2019, at the 43 wk mark (by scan dates) we made our way to the, now very familiar hospital.
We arrived around 11:15am at the delivery suite, where we were shown our room. We had brought a lot of things to help make the space ours (nice lights, music, own pillow and blanket, essential oils, a picture of Wilfrid), and also in case we ended up staying in for a while (lots of food, colostrum Rosie had been expressing for baby, spare clothes etc).
So we unpacked and met our lovely midwife, K. K was absolutely everything we could have wanted; she was very experienced in home birth and knew what we needed. As we had found helpful before, Tim went to talk through the birth plan with K away from Rosie, so Rosie could just concentrate on being relaxed. Several things K said were very reassuring: she emphasised she would go at our pace and how important it was that we were the ones in control. She did some initial monitoring of baby and Rosie and then left us to settle into the room. We got the lighting low and pinned some affirmations (positive statements about the birth) to the wall. We thought it would be a good idea to have lunch before, to get energy levels up. It was slightly odd knowing that Rosie’s labour was hopefully about to start, after waiting for it for so long! Tim sent messages to close family to let them know we were at the hospital and in good hands.
A little before 2pm K returned, and confirmed our plan – she would break Rosie’s waters, do some monitoring to check baby was still happy, and then we would have 4 hours to ourselves to see if contractions could get going. We had a plan of strategies to use: going outside for a walk, Rosie using a breast pump, sitting on a yoga ball, listening to some of the hypnobirthing tracks, relaxing. At 6pm we would assess with K how things were going. A good sign when Rosie’s waters were broken was there was no meconium in the amniotic fluid – most people we had talked to seemed to expect some since we were so ‘overdue’. This can cause problems for baby if they inhale it during the birth. K could also tell baby was in a really good position for labour which was great to hear.
We went for a walk to the small park in the hospital grounds, it was a lovely sunny day. Rosie could feel some mild contractions but fairly far apart. She felt a bit disheartened since if things didn’t get going ‘naturally’, the next step would be artificial hormones to bring on contractions which would likely be harder to deal with (your body doesn’t release endorphins in the same way to help cope). We went for quite a wander round before returning to the room. Back in the room we spent a bit of time using our other strategies, e.g. listening to the affirmations and Rosie using the breast pump. K came to see us and also mentioned that walking up stairs sideways might be helpful!
We decided to go for another walk around 4:40pm, and during this walk Tim started timing the contractions which were definitely getting quite close together – Tim actually recorded 21 in 50 minutes. However they were still manageable through breathing – Rosie would just stop walking, close her eyes, and breathe through it. They were lasting about 1 minute, but again, this felt manageable. Rosie certainly didn’t feel this meant things were proceeding quickly. We returned to the room about 5:30pm and Rosie lay on the bed on her side. As with Wilfrid’s birth, Rosie felt the contractions as period-pain like cramps in the front abdomen, not towards the back. This may be partly as baby was in a good back-to-front position (not back-to-back).
Fairly soon after this the contractions started feeling quite a lot more intense and Rosie wanted to move onto all fours on the bed to see if that helped. She had one quite strong pushing down contraction and felt she really needed to go to the toilet (classic sign!)
At this point it was getting towards 6pm. Tim thought he might need some help if Rosie wanted to get to the bathroom (which was in the room, but even so), and he also thought the baby might be close to coming, so he went to fetch a midwife. K was with someone else so another midwife came in. Rosie managed to get to the toilet, sitting there was quite a relief although really this was a sign the baby was about to be born.
The other midwife went to tell K she thought she needed to get back to us! When K came in she kindly said to Rosie she should come back to the bed “we don’t want this baby to be born on the toilet!” and helped her there. Rosie had her eyes closed throughout at this point and wanted to go back on all fours.
The midwives tried to hear baby’s heart which was a bit challenging, because of Rosie’s position and as the baby had already moved down (they ended up listening briefly via baby’s head).
Now K helped Rosie with her breathing (“remember your hypnobirthing”) and told her how the baby was doing – the head was well on the way to crowning. Rosie could reach down and feel baby at this point and with a few more semi-controlled pushes baby was born at 6:22pm, barely 3 hours after the first mild but definite contractions, and with no pain relief (not even water which we’d used for Wilfrid’s birth).
The cord was quite short but Tim and K helped Rosie reach down and find out we’d had a baby girl! Rosie was quite surprised as she had for some reason thought it would be a boy. After the cord stopped pulsing Tim cut it with K’s help and we cuddled our perfect baby girl.
Meeting for the first time!
K stayed with us while the third stage took place (delivery of the placenta) which Rosie did with a few deliberate, guided pushes after about half an hour. During this time baby also latched on for feeding which helped with the third stage. Rosie had a few stitches for a 2nd degree tear and after that we were given quite a lot of time alone with our newborn, and also some tea and toast! We messaged close family and also rang Wilfrid to tell him he had a baby sister!
Rosie had a shower after a bit, and felt remarkably fine (the short labour probably helped!), and we started packing up ready to leave as soon as our notes were done. Baby was checked over and weighed (8lb 4oz, very close actually to the 8lb 6oz predicted by the growth scan). We left the hospital a little after midnight and baby girl was very contemplative in the car seat on the journey home, looking at the lights. It was lovely going to bed at home. We named our baby girl Elisabeth, known as Bess.
Our beautiful baby, just after the birth, thinking
Through all the time we took over decision-making beforehand, our priority was achieving a birth which was smooth and low-stress physically for baby and Rosie; by this measure things could not have been much better. There were some signs that Bess was ready to come out: no vernix, long nails, birth weight on the higher side (but not enormous), placenta which was healthy but slightly ‘gritty’. On the other hand, there was no indication she was not also doing fine inside, and she had not passed any meconium.
Waiting allowed us to make our own informed decisions over timing and methods, and we also felt that this would give us the best chance of a smooth labour whether spontaneous or induced. Planning for a positive induction was definitely a huge mental challenge, but we did it!
Rosie found it really helpful to speak to others who’d been through similar experiences and is very happy to be contacted, via Alice.
Writing our own affirmations was also useful (can be used both preparing for induction and when reflecting after):
I am/was strong for my baby and me during the birth
I make/made decisions based on my baby’s and my best interests
We take/took time informing ourselves about different options
I surround/surrounded myself with well informed and empathetic people
My birth will be/was a perfect one for my baby and me
My baby will be/was ready for the birth journey
My body responds/responded well to the induction process
We work/worked to create a home from home birth
Our careful preparations enable/enabled a smooth birth
We adapt/adapted well to a new scenario
We will have/had the perfect midwives helping us through our birth
We work/worked well as a family team before, during and after the birth
"I wasn't sure whether hypnobirthing would help me, and I only started a few months before I was due, but your MP3s played a big part in my first birth - particularly the affirmations track, which I basically had on repeat from start to finish.
Hypnobirthing really helped me to get through the early hours of labour when I was just walking around my room breathing and saying "relax, release" to myself, I listened to it on headphones in the car, and then we had it playing in the delivery room.
In the end my active labour was only 35 mins and I had a pretty easy birth all things considered - it all started around 1am and she was here by 11am so I think I had it pretty good!
I think the hypnobirthing principles really helped achieve that so many thanks again!"
I loved reading this wonderful new positive birth story sent in today by Serena, who practised hypnobirthing with baby Eva, using my online course...
"The day after our due date my waters broke at 10:30pm & I started to prepare myself for a long journey through labour. I even told the midwife on the phone that we would wait until after rush hour the next day to head in, my husband Clive still laughs about that comment now...
Over the weeks leading up to this moment I had been listening to Alice's MP3s whilst burning the recommended oils and I never really thought I was 'hypnotised'. I was dubious about the effect as I'd sometimes find my mind wondering & thinking about what to have for dinner, whilst when Clive would listen with me he would fall into a nice relaxing sleep! But I stuck with it.
After a shower things started to progress so we ran a bath, started our MP3s and lit the oil burner. I was so calm listening to Alice and smelling the oils, I was transferred back to my relaxed safe place that I had been when listening all the times before.... apart from when my husband used matches to light the oil burner! That was not a relaxing smell at all ; )
As the contractions got stronger I was in & out of the bath finding what was most comfortable. I tried a TENS machine but I just found it distracting and annoying so removed it pretty quickly.
We decided to head to the birth centre after 3 & half hours and still listened to the MP3s in the car and were easily able to plug the tablet into the speakers in our birthing room.
When we arrived the midwife was surprised to inform me that I was 9cm dilated as I was so calm and she asked me "how long have you been needing to push?" I was a bit confused and replied "I just thought this is how it feels?".
An hour later at 03:38 I gave birth to our beautiful daughter Eva in the birthing pool, with no pain relief and just the support of Clive, the Midwife and of course Alice.
It was textbook and I couldn't have written a better birth plan for us. I was the first person to hold her and Clive was the second, he was also the first person to see and reveal the sex of our baby.
When you are calm and believe in your body and what is happening to you everything just goes right and in a comfortable slow motion, we have the most amazing memories that we will cherish forever.
Also, I strongly believe that because Eva had such a natural and stress free welcome to the world it meant that we were able to bond and establish breastfeeding
Now 16 weeks pregnant again we are hopeful for a similar experience and will definitely be including Alice on this journey with us. Thank you Alice."
Practice hypnobirthing for free and help to save the plant!
I've teamed up with Bulb Energy to offer free hypnobirthing classes online... In addition to your £25 saving you also get £50 of free renewable energy (as do I) and Bulb will pay any exit fees from your current provider.
Just sign up to Bulb via my personalised link, and I'll email you with instructions for accessing your full hypnobirthing course, as soon as Bulb let me know you've used my switching link (this is usually pretty quick).
Another fantastic birth story and beautiful photo... I so love getting these!
"While I’m riding the highs of becoming a mother for the first time, I wanted to take a moment to share my birthing story.
I was introduced to your hypnobirthing course at 35 weeks pregnant. Just in time to embrace all the different resources at the right pace.
The tips were practical and helpful in an unknown world of birth preparation. The videos and learning materials were empowering as well as educational. But most of all, the mp3 recordings lined the way to my labour each night with a candle lit bath. They set the tone and the tempo deep within my subconscious.
So by 40 weeks I could comfortably agree to being induced (due to size complications). Everyone around me was excited but anxious too. I reassured them to have faith, that I was at peace with whatever the outcome (long labour, c-section, etc).
My birthing partner was a huge support and did what she could to support my hypnobirthing preparation. Together we made a great team, I stayed focused and she kept a watch over the cave making sure everything was on track and in the right direction.
Thanks to the breathing techniques and positive affirmations mps I managed to sail through the first 5cm of labour. I asked for an epidural feeling empowered with the facts and information at hand.
There were some complications during the next few hours, but again I was able to encourage the team around me to stay calm and remember we all have faith in each other.
The medical team had told me they expected this induction to last up to 3-5 days, but instead it lasted just 12 hours 37 mins! With only 27 minutes needed to push my baby into the world.
The epidural had worn off and the medical staff watched on in awe as I breathed my way through the birth and delivery, listening and following the main midwife's instructions and zoning out all other voices and noises. This resulted in limited ‘damage’ below and a huge huge high having ‘felt’ every moment of my son making his entrance into life!
Like the medical team said, Hypnobirthing should be a core option on antenatal courses. They save a lot of time, resources and most of all anxiety!!
Thank you for all you do for us fellow mums! Wishing you and every other mum in the future all the best
Hayley & Baby Michael, born 8lb 15oz, 16.3.2019"
(Written permission kindly granted to share words and photo)
Congratulations Chiara in Brussels! Welcome to beautiful Mattia...
"Giving birth was a healing process for me. My pregnancy turned out to be very different from how I had imagined it and I dealt with severe anxiety. I knew that hypnosis worked for me as in the past I had had positive experiences with it, so it didn't sound too exotic to me. I started listening to the tracks when I was around 35 weeks pregnant and liked them and how they made me feel. I downloaded them on both my computer and my phone and I did briefly listen to the birth affirmations during my labour, but the most important part was probably the preparation and the confidence hypnobirthing gave me.
On March 1st at 3 pm I lost my mucous plug, and immediately after my water broke in a spectacular, film-like fashion. We walked to the hospital to get the contractions going, then kept walking through my entire labour. Because apparently every pregnant lady in Brussels had decided to give birth that day the staff was a bit overwhelmed and my husband and I were basically left on our own, which allowed us to have all the space and intimacy that we needed. We laboured alone for about four hours. I had had regular contractions every two minutes since my water had broken, but they became gradually stronger and stronger, more and more painful. I practiced breathing and visualisation and at some point I listened to the affirmations. 'Relax, release and let go of everything you just don't need' is probably the one which had the most impact on me: it triggered an immediate physical reaction and really got me to release the tension in my body. I imagined myself breathing in golden light, which made me feel so strong and positive.
At around 8-9 pm my contractions got so strong I started to consider my options, then remembered that the self-doubt phase was normal and that it was probably indicative of my going into the transition phase. At that point a midwife came in and asked me if I wanted to get checked. I said yes because I needed to know how far along I was, but I was confident and positive that my contractions were effective. And they were! I was already 6 cm dilated. The midwife was very surprised! For a first birth everything was progressing very quickly. I zeroed in and stayed focused, even when they moved us to the delivery room. I was so much in my bubble that I didn't realise that things were progressing so quickly, and I soon found myself wanting to push. Once again, the midwives were surprised. I started pushing and after half an hour our beautiful, perfect baby boy was in my arms. Our son Mattia was born at 11.50 pm, less than 9 hours since my labour started.
I was - and still am, two weeks on - incredulous, so immensely proud, and sore. We weren't offered any pain relief and I didn't even think of asking for it. My confidence level was high going into labour and even higher after it. Giving birth was such a powerful, empowering experience that made me feel so close to the animal world and so connected with all the women in the world.
I wish every mum a powerful, meaningful birth experience. Thank you for helping women create a positive space for themselves."
I love how hypnobirthing helps mums stay as calm as possible, especially when medical assistance is involved...
Six months ago Kirsten's baby boy was born poorly following a failed induction and subsequent emergency caesarean. Before her surgery she had time to listen to my 'Positive Caesarean' MP3:-
"I can't tell you how much it helped me. I felt so disappointed in myself for not being able to give birth like I wanted. To this day I have these doubts about my body and my ability, but I am reminded of your words about how I was doing what was best for my baby and I do now feel my birth experience was positive despite everything, because it did mean that I got a healthy happy baby in the end.
I was also able to be calm and collected throughout, which means that I still remember the first time I saw my baby with love and happiness rather than stress, and I think having that recording there and being able to listen to it had a big part in that.
Even when I had to give the baby to the paediatric nurses to take away from me I was able to do so with love and calm and think about what was best for him which could have been very hard.
Thank you for being considerate of this when making the recordings: they really work for everyone and don't assume everyone can have the ideal medication-free birth, but help women feel empowered whatever happens."
"Our daughter Winnie Prisha was born on Feb. 28th at 7:37pm weighing 7lbs 7ozs.
I started listening to the tracks about 20 weeks into my pregnancy. They really helped relax me and get me into the mindset of birth being something to embrace instead of fear.
The week of my labour I had really bad back labour and didn’t sleep for 3 days. I listened to the meditations while bouncing on my birthing ball and they helped me cope.
When I finally went into the hospital I was already 5cm dilated! I was so proud that I had gotten through early labour at home, and I am sure I wouldn’t have been able to manage nearly as well without the tools I learned in the hypnobirthing course.
I also used the hypnobirthing tracks during the pushing phase to help get me through.
It was an incredible experience and I felt so powerful afterwards.
Thank you so much Alice for putting together such a lovely course and series of meditations. This was the best thing I did to prepare for my birth!"
There's a whole tonne of information out there to help you secure your place, but less on the discerning questions you should be askingthem...
I've been through three applicant cycles, and attended undergraduate midwifery courses at both King's College London (1st-3rd year) and Plymouth University. I decided that NHS midwifery wasn't for me, but feel I have useful insights to share...
Consider finding out the following info before you make your final decison:-
Ask how many academic weeks the faculty registrar reports to Student Finance. Some universities report less than the 45 weeks required for the full long course loan element, so some students have up to £1,000 less in their pocket each year than others
Ask about track records in the timely provision of placement rotas. The goal is 3-4 weeks advance notice but some wards struggle, particularly if staff don't receive 'protected time' to organise the student 'off-duty'
Find out how much 'shop floor' involvement link lecturers have. A teacher's willingness to get stuck in and cement positive relationships with the workforce makes life much easier
Remember that the midwifery students you talk to on open days are paid ambassadors, so try to glean feedback from a variety of sources
Check out the lecturers' specialist interests and published works... Which inspire you most?
Does the course offer particularly valuable modules such as examination of the newborn and mentorship?
If you'd have a long commute to uni, check whether remote learning might be possible sometimes
Enquire about classroom facilities: are lecture rooms pleasant, big, modern and airy with plenty of space for group work? Are clinical skills workshops well stocked with up-to-date teaching equipment?
Consider class size, e.g. would you prefer a cohort of 60 or 30?
Do students feel listened to, understood and valued? Ask whether feedback is regularly sought (via student reps) and what changes have occurred as a result
Up to a quarter of midwifery students leave their course. Ask what the current attrition rate is, and why.
The best bits of midwifery...
It's a privilege to make a positive difference to women and families at such an important time ~ you always remember your midwife! For me, the best bits included offering inclusive woman-centred support throughout the perinatal period:- building positive rapport, increasing a mother's confidence, empowerment and self-belief, and of course catching babies. The emotional and physical changes that happen during pregnancy, birth and postnatally are fascinating. There are lots of interesting skills to acquire and many different areas to specialise in later, including low-risk, high-risk, homebirths, infant-feeding, bereavement, sonography, screening, midwifery education, management, policy planning and implementation, research, antenatal teaching and independent midwifery.
The worst bits...
Working 13 hour shifts (including nights and weekends) in an underfunded NHS, loads of paperwork, stress, burnout, poor mentorship or a bullying culture in some areas, being involved in tragic cases (do explore the WHELM study)
Personal attributes required...
Midwifery is a wonderful and challenging vocation requiring kindness, compassion, self-awareness, skill, intellect, instinct, mental strength, physical stamina and heaps of self-care. My best tip is to 'find your tribe' and lean on them!
For advice on writing your personal statement and having a successful interview I highly recommend Ellie Durant's book
"Meet Dorothy Daniels born 6.2.19 weighing 8.1lb. Natural water birth- no medication or intervention.
As a first time mummy I was willing to try anything, my husband was sceptical but we thought anything that helps, even in the smallest way.
I also believed that as a first time mummy it was unrealistic to think that you could birth your baby without tearing- these Youtube videos of mums birthing their babies in the garden are never first time mums..
But within 12 hrs from first contraction we met our little lady!!
Managed to stay at home for 9 hours with Tens machine & breathing, arriving at the birth centre 8 cms dilated, then 3 hrs later Dorothy was born.
Most magical experience and your on line course definitely had a huge impact on all of that process for my body & mind.
Huge thanks xx"
(words and photograph posted with written permission 13/2/19)
Last year I wondered if our local hospital still had my birth notes from 38 years ago, so Mum and I applied to the records office to see...
A fascinating read. On admission mum was all set for a normal, physiological birth of her first baby. These days she probably would have had a waterbirth in our beautiful new centre...
Obviously they didn't have the same facilities in the early 80s, but it's particularly interesting to observe the power play...
In those days, upon admission a mother was routinely shaved, given an enema, bath and a hospital gown before being put on her back, waters broken and continuous monitoring commenced. Thankfully much of the world has now moved on from such care!
In my Mum's case doctors were summoned for a forceps birth due to a 'delay in 2nd stage' after merely 50 minutes of 'active pushing', despite all being well (these days doctors aren't usually consulted until at least 2-3 hours into active 2nd stage).
I'm also really pleased to see that we don't have these any more: "Request for husband to be present at his wife's confinement" (!!!)
Congratulations Amy & family, and welcome to baby Ezra!
"Just wanted to thank you for the course which was such a help during pregnancy and labour. Our little boy Ezra Alan was born yesterday morning at 11.38am, weighing just over 8lbs.
The hypnobirthing course really helped my partner and I to prepare for the birth together and focus on a positive birthing experience.
I am very happy to have been able to experience the type of birth I had hoped for and worked towards, and delivered Ezra in the pool with gas and air. We listened to the tracks and affirmations throughout the active phase of labour, and my partner was able to help me remember to breathe, and use touch and the affirmations to really help me push through when I began to doubt myself.
Thanks again, and good luck to all the other mammas!"
Our little baby girl Maiken was delivered just after midnight on the 2nd November!
I just wanted to thank you so very much for your course and the few emails you have sent me, I truly cannot say how brilliant it was. I gave birth here in Norway and none of the midwives had any experience with Hypno birthing and they couldn't believe how calm I was. I managed to stay at home and remained completely calm and had no idea that I had made it to 10cm and the midwives here couldn't believe it when they checked me either, I was actually asked to wait nearly 45 mins before I could start my water birth because no one including myself realised how far I was due to how calm and how well I was coping!
My birth ended up slightly more complicated than planned due to the contractions slowing down and her head being at a funny angle which resorted in a 2.5 hour pushing phase, but I listened to you throughout and it got me through with no pain relief!
Every midwife and doctor loved your tracks and a friend had painted me my affirmations which I had in the room. I was amazed at the impact on my subconscious from the music even when I couldn't hear your actual words! I am now the absolute biggest advocate of hypnobirthing!
I just wanted to say thank you so much again, I really feel that I couldn't have had such a wonderful experience without you and the course!
Congratulations Tania, Jamie and family! Welcome Emrys
"We would love to finally introduce our little dude, who made it into the world at Helston Birth Unit on Monday 26th November after a rather drawn-out stint of early contractions from 1cm the previous Weds evening! I had a sweep in the midwife office on Thursday, but other than some bloody show appearing over the day and some mild to sharpish contractions, not much happened until late night on Sunday.
Jamie had been at a gig in Truro and had got in about 1.30am to me having pains in my sleep! We went into the unit at about 4.50am (which was only 10 mins down the road) and the midwife met us there. She assessed me and I was 5cm dilated. After the other midwife arrived I managed to get in the pool which was an AMAZING relief. I was probably in there for about an hour or so and had a bit of gas and air towards the very end.
I had my hypnobirthing affirmations and my labour music on, along with breathing and trying to remember the visualisations we had worked on in my yoga class as well.
The fact we were in the middle of a moonlit night made it all the more quiet and magical and I managed to get Jamie to film the final bit. He said my primeval motherly warrior scream as he came out was amazing. I struggled to see where baby was as I had no glasses on (oops) but the midwives were fabulous and one of them brought him round so I could bring him up.
I’m less sad and more happy that this is my last baby as I know my body has been through immense things and I feel our family is complete. There will always be a bit of me that still doesn’t believe I grew and gave birth to four human beings who totally depend on us.
I would thoroughly recommend pregnant women to use hypnobirthing and reach into the inner goddess that is being a mother. It helped to calm me even when I thought I couldn’t do it. Thank you, Tania and Jamie"
"My baby's growth was found to be tailing off after a scan on the 10th of October and so I was booked to be induced at 37 weeks on the 19th.
I went in as planned but was actually progressing on my own and beginning to dilate - the midwife was surprised I was already at 2cm. They didn't need to use the pessary and so I was sent home to relax and come back the next day. I had some backache but after a bath (listening to one of the hypnobirthing tracks), good meal and long sleep I felt good.
Back in hospital they broke my waters at 7pm on the 20th. I managed to go natural, listening to the affirmation tracks while sat on my birthing ball until the beginning of the second stage and then accepted an epidural. I laboured well but was exhausted at the end and needed a forceps delivery.
My baby girl, Willow Jessica, was born on the 21st October at 01:30 weighing 5lb 15oz / 2.7kg.
I can't believe how perfect she is! Even when I'm so tired and am beginning to doubt myself, I look at her and everything makes sense.
The hypnobirthing helped my husband and I remain relaxed and calm. It gave him the strength to support me when I was forgetting to breathe to relax. The midwives were thrilled with how well it all went and very impressed with the tracks we used.
I'd highly recommend your hypnobirthing course to anyone going into pregnancy. Although things went off plan, we were able to face everything was we approached each new hurdle."
Congratulations Anna & Joseph in California, and welcome Ahalya!
"Our hypnobirthing experience transcended our fondest hopes and expectations. Anna was so relaxed and free from anxiety that she actually slept through transition. By the time we decided to go to the maternity ward, she was already at 9.5 centimetres, and gave birth without any interventions a mere twenty minutes later. And because there was no pain, stress, or fear, we were all able to focus on the beauty of the moment. What a gift that was, and we owe so much of it to you."
"I would definitely recommend this course to anyone! It really helped me focus on the task at hand and calmed me down in the weeks coming up to my birth. I only started this course at week 35 and wish I had listened a lot more to the mp3s, however in the short space of time it still helped me cope very well with labour.
I was due my little girl on the Friday 7th Sept. My waters broke at 2am on Monday 3rd. My contractions became quite strong from 8.30am onwards, I got into the birthing pool at 10am and my baby girl Lilah was born at 11.24am!
I had her at a birthing centre with only two paracetamol and a water birth. She weighed a massive 10lb! This course reassured me that my body could give birth, as my biggest fear was not being able to push baby out. Although it was tough I just remembered my affirmations and that got me through it.
Thank you so much to Alice for this course." - Ingrid, Leicester
"Your hypnobirthing course was INCREDIBLE. I started quite late in my pregnancy at 33 weeks and was looking for something I could do on my own and with my birth partner at home. I listened to the mp3s every day, often multiple sessions, which helped me immensely to relax, visualise, breathe, fear cleanse, and imagine the birth experience. I could almost recite all the affirmations by heart which I found so so helpful, and empowering.
I really wanted a natural birth and to connect with my body and immerse myself in the experience. My birth plan and dream of giving birth at Cambridge Birth Center had to be adapted when I got diagnosed with mild pre-eclampsia the day after my due date, and I accepted an induction of misoprostol oral tablets and a foley balloon.
Nothing happened for 24 hrs and I was just about to start pitocin and had taken a sleeping pill.. then my water broke and I went into immediate active labour for 6.5 hrs (contractions 90 sec and 2 min apart to start!!!) including 2 hrs pushing, and our baby girl Marina was born!
Even as a track runner and triathlete, it was the toughest physical experience I’ve ever gone through but I stayed emotionally strong and focused throughout using the hypnobirthing mp3s on a little speaker on repeat, breathing techniques (ohm-ing to relax and embrace the contractions), visualisation of my body opening like a flower, massage and encouragement help of my amazing birth partner Alex, and riding the waves towards our baby, birthing ball and using the tub for contractions.
Pushing was harder than I expected and chugging apple juice right beforehand helped a lot with sugar!!
2 days monitoring and we are finally home settling in to parenthood!!!
Thank you Alice! I’d be happy for you to share my birth story, in fact I’d love it. Women should not be fearful of labour, but trust their incredible bodies and know that you CAN DO IT.
My doula raves about how good your mp3s were and loved your voice. I’m so happy I found your course and was empowered to give birth naturally like women have done for 100s of 1000s of years!!"
"I had my beautiful baby girl Florence at 12.54am on Sunday (19/08/18). I was induced with a pessary at Treliske in Cornwall (14 days overdue, decided to induce due to pelvic girlde pain), around 4pm.
By 5.15pm we started counting mild regular contractions. I stood and cuddled my partner through most of these! By 9pm I was monitored and checked at almost 5cm, and I moved upstairs to the new birthing unit a little after 10pm, where I planned to have a water birth.
I had been managing contractions with breathing, affirmations in my head (and from my partner), and the use of lavender and some clary sage on a tissue. I was very warm and decided I wasn't ready for the pool and continued to labour actively.
Using my techniques gained from Alice's MP3s and a little gas and air I was able to let my body take over, and my baby was born very calmly in to the world with just a couple of stitches for me!
It was so different to my first very medical labour.. thanks to Alice's MP3s I was calm and level headed throughout, and so was my partner. As a result we have a beautiful serene little baby girl! I will recommend to anyone who listens!"
A recent study of the causes and outcomes of fear of birth published in the Australian College of Midwives' Women & Birth, concluded that:-
"Stress, anxiety, depression and lack of social support are associated with fear during pregnancy. Need for psychiatric care and presence of traumatic stress symptoms are reported outcomes together with prolonged labour, longer labours, use of epidural and obstetric complications.
Nulliparous and parous women have similar levels of fear but for different reasons. Since the strongest predictor for fear in parous women is a previous negative birth experience or operative birth, we suggest it is important to distinguish between fear of childbirth and fear after birth.
Findings demonstrate the need for creating woman-centred birthing environments where women can feel free and secure with low risk of negative or traumatic birth experiences and consequent fear."
This review is really interesting, because hypnobirthing is all about reducing fear during birth... It's so important during pregnancy to foster confidence, relaxation, mental well-being and good support.
"I had the most amazing birth on Tuesday, my little Sophie was in a rush to come out.
I probably didn’t do as much “active hypnobirthing study” as I should, however I listened to it to go to sleep every night and I could hear the music in my head during labour, especially the “positive birthing affirmations with Wah”.
My waters went on Monday afternoon, followed by slowly building tightenings, which thanks to the online course I knew to expect and breathe through - even managed to sleep for a few hours through them!
Then we went to the midwife-led birthing unit and (thanks to the online videos of breathing techniques), I sounded like I was playing a kazoo throughout my labour and it helped wonderfully.
In between each surge I was my normal chatty self, I would then zone out when each surge came. I instinctively knew each phase of my baby's birth and was in tune with my body completely, even my midwife commented on it!
I had my perfect water birth after 2 hours of labour and 5 minutes of breathing my baby out.
Thank you for your fantastic course and daily affirmations! I will miss those!"
"I enjoyed the daily affirmations email, the weekly story taught me many important things and the info on your website was very helpful. The birth plan was invaluable! Xx
I listened to the mp3s and also had sessions with a local hypnotherapist for some extra practice. The two went very well together. I planned a home birth after reading the lovely stories on your website.
I had an intense early labour through the night and it took all my concentration to breathe through it. I was so uncomfortable between contractions I didn't feel I could get up. I didn't even ask for the hypnobirthing tracks - big mistake. At 5cm I was ready to throw my birth plan out the window and ask for hospital and epidural.
Later I was helped into the pool and when my husband put on the mp3s the relief I felt hearing that familiar music was instant - I felt so much stronger and calmer. And actually that time from 5cm through to birth was far easier than the first half had been, even pleasurable at times.
The gas and air arrived so late I didn't bother with it, I had no pain relief other than the pool, head stroking and the hypnosis. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have coped without the hypnobirthing. My baby was born at home, 8lb10, in the presence of my little boy, everything I had wished for. I'm so proud of the gentle start I gave her and she's a contented little thing."
An effective birth partner is 100% confident about birth and hypnobirthing, super organised and ready & willing to support a mother in any way she wants... After a disappointing experience, Isla in Cornwall wants birth partners to create and follow a 'list of jobs'. I've written a sample list below which includes Isla's suggestions.
"After a rather traumatic birth experience with their first child, this couple's birth was filled with moments of love and peace. I loved how they were working together, holding hands while she was circling on a birth ball"
Be honest about how much you'd like to participate, and consider hiring a doula to support you both
Write a 'tick box' chart for the day. This is agreed together beforehand so you don't forget anything
Check the bags regularly: make sure that baby, mum and partner(s) have everything they need (including phone chargers). Make sure that you can find items quickly when they're needed
Set out and manage the 'mammal-friendly' scene wherever mum happens to be. Use the hypnobirthing MP3s / music, lights / candles, scents and (if applicable) fill the birth pool and keep it up to temperature
Be present - don't just read the newspaper or watch the TV!
Make your partner comfortable. In between contractions proactively offer plenty of treats, sweets and various different drinks so she doesn't have to ask you
"I loved your voice, and listened to all your tracks regularly from 34 weeks, especially affirmations. I also went over the theory sections of the website several times.
From the beginning to the end of my labour I listened to you on repeat with my headphones on! It kept me very focused and in my zone, to the point where I panicked at transition when I couldn’t hit repeat on my phone quick enough!
I had a quick birth. My baby's waters broke on their own at home at midnight. I got up to the hospital to be triaged at 1am (3cm dilated). She was born two hours later, with transition very brief.
I remained upright as long as possible and birthed her leaning over the back of a bed on my knees. It felt very intense and powerful.
I used gas and air for an hour at the end and this was a good distraction coupled with the hypnobirthing track.
She came into the world calmly and without a cry, but bright eyed and alert. I attribute this to the techniques learned and the trust placed in my baby to come when she was ready.
‘Your baby and body know what to do' - and thank goodness for that!’ Thank you!
"Cora-Mai was born at 9pm on Monday eve after only being induced at 3.15pm the same afternoon! It was a really positive experience.
The midwife did a sweep and put in the pessary at 3.15pm and by 3.30pm I was having really strong contractions lasting almost a minute and only 1-2 mins apart. They took the pessary out after about 2/3 hours to slow things down a bit, but I was just in natural labour by then and there was no stopping it.
When they checked after 3 hours of this there was no dilation and the cervix still needed to thin, so I opted for some pethidine, which was the only pain relief available at that stage as I was still on the ward. I guess it did take the edge off but not much, but what it did do was completely relax me so that I could even use some of my Hypnobirthing techniques and really breathe and try to relax my body during contractions. I found the process so much easier to cope with second time round and knowing what the different stages feel like [Jo's first birth was very intense!]
It was really quick at the end again. The midwife came to say they were going start filling a pool and take me up but I knew I was in transition and I probably wouldn’t make it. They went off to make beds and I had to get Ant to go and tell them that the contractions were starting to bear down.
So they rushed me up as quick as they could, crashing my bed into every lift and door frame on the way, haha. And as I got off the bed and crossed the corridor, her head came out as I walked through the door, so they just chucked a load of towels on the floor and caught her as she came out. It was quite funny at the end, they were all very shocked I did tell them Asta was quick.
Anyway, thank you again so much for your help and advice. Both my babies would of been born far differently if it wasn’t for you and for hypnobirthing, and I really appreciate that - neither do I frown on pain relief because every one is different. For me a bit of help actually helped me achieve how I wanted things to turn out, so I feel in no way disappointed that it played a part.
All that said, I still don’t feel I had much to do with it. Our bodies are amazing and we really just sit back and let it do it’s stuff and try to be brave!
So, the moral of the story is ... I was induced, had pain relief and pretty much gave birth standing up in a corridor, but for me it couldn’t of gone any better it was quick, uncomplicated and Cora-Mai and I are both totally undamaged, what more can you hope for?"
Congratulations to Emma, Jolyon and Ailla on the arrival of baby Alcea! Emma tells us her birth story...
"At 4am I started to get some strong period pain sensations. I stayed relaxed and tried to mentally tell my baby "you are welcome to arrive this morning", as I'd already had some cramping sensations on previous days that hadn't led to labour.
Within the hour the cramps had moved onto full contractions which I breathed through easily, moving onto my hands and knees, and using visualisations that I had practised with your MP3s. I stayed calm enough that I dozed off between a few of the contractions!
Things progressed well, the midwives were called and once they arrived I was assessed and I was dilating well. I moved downstairs to the pool and once I got in things progressed quickly with a strong urge to push. My husband used key trigger phrases that I had selected from the MP3s that I had found useful, such as 'breathe down to the baby' and calmly laid his hands on my shoulders. I encouraged him to read about the transition phase which he therefore recognised and was able to support me through. I definitely found this the most challenging part of labour.
Within about half an hour of getting in the water, at at 9:11am, I delivered my little girl and brought her up to my chest in the pool. Throughout the labour I didn't require any pain relief and labour progressed smoothly and calmly.
I am delighted by how both of my births have gone and I give great credit to the hypnobirthing techniques that I learnt with you, so thank you! I tell anyone who will listen about hypnobirthing :)
I reached 36 weeks in my pregnancy and my braxton hicks were getting so frequent and strong that I was willing my baby to stay put for just a couple of weeks longer.
38 weeks came and went. Every few days I would get regular strong braxton hicks that I excitedly thought could be the start of labour. I spent my 'due date' crying. It seems silly now but I felt like I was 'overdue' after weeks of feeling like labour was a moment away.
The next morning I woke to more mild tightenings. I didn't want to get my hopes up so I mostly ignored them. I got up, made breakfast for my 3 year old son Jacob and got him dressed for nursery.
Afterwards we sat on the floor playing together and I realised the sensations were still frequent. I wanted to focus on them, so I put my headphones in, switched on my hypnobirthing mp3s and closed my eyes. I imagined my baby, in my mind I spoke to her and I told her how ready I was to meet her.
I told my partner Matt that I 'may' be in labour and I wanted him to set up the birth pool (we had an immersion water tank and I wanted to make sure we had enough time to fill the pool with warm water).
We kept Jacob at home with us, he had been well prepared for what he would see and hear at his sister's birth and he excitedly helped set up the birth pool with his Daddy.
I put some clary sage in an oil burner and sat on my birth ball. I was feeling calm and relaxed. I used my hypnobirthing practice to stay focused on the present moment, rather than wondering too much about if the sensations would progress.
At 11am I got into the birth pool, shortly followed by Jacob who wanted to cuddle me and catch the baby, yes he really was that excited!! Jacob was in the pool with me for around 30 mins and I noticed that I hadn't felt a single tightening while he was in the pool. My focus had shifted naturally to him! Matt got Jacob out and put on a movie for him in the lounge.
I asked Matt to rub my shoulders, realising that my labour may have stalled. As Matt massaged me, a huge wave of oxytocin came over me and with it a huge surge!! I instructed Matt to keep his hands - off me - from then on haha! I soon got back into the gentle rhythm of my labour (interestingly throughout my labour whenever Matt or Jacob would kiss or touch me I would have a way too powerful surge! The power of oxytocin was just too immense for me).
Our doula arrived at around midday and sat quietly crocheting in my kitchen watching over me and instinctively knowing when to bring me sips of water or take my excited 3 year old back into the lounge. She was amazing!
I felt so safe with her there, I knew she would advocate for me, having built up a strong relationship during my pregnancy. My contractions strengthened and intensified to the point I really needed to focus on them, but they were not yet painful. I had planned to call an NHS midwife when I felt labour was getting serious.
(Background: I had requested a hands off 'watch and wait' approach to my birth. With no VEs, intermittent monitoring of baby's heart rate, no blood pressure monitoring, no chatting or questions directed at me. Basically I don't like to be touched or disturbed when I am birthing. This didn’t go down well with the Supervisor of Midwives who called me up weeks before my due date to discuss her concerns regarding my birth plan. I lost trust in the midwifery team, I didn't feel confident that my preferences were being heard, I wanted their support, but I was not prepared to be coerced into abiding by the 'nhs protocols' so I made the decision to not involve them, until I felt that birth was imminent.)
At around 2.45pm I felt a very powerful sensation followed by a pop. My waters had gone. Almost instantly my body started pushing and I felt my baby’s head descending. I put my fingers inside my vagina and felt her head, she was close, adrenaline pulsed through my body, I was breathing rapidly. I had skipped 'transition' completely and gone from painless contractions to pushing my baby out. There was no midwife. Just me, my partner and son, and our doula.
I announced I could feel the babies head, my doula sensed the panic in my voice. 'just breathe' she said calmly...
She was right! Panic wouldn't help me birth my baby. I breathed, I focused, I tried to control her rapid descent, I willed my body to open and stretch. I took long deep in-breaths and blew them out with a gentle groan.
Without a break from spontaneous pushing, my baby's head was born as I was leaning forwards on the side of the pool, with both Jacob and Matt holding me. I sat back, kneeling upright, reached down and felt her soft fuzzy head. I then leaned backwards, smiling as my body took a well deserved pause.
As the next wave began to build, I reached down and put my hand on my baby's head, feeling her body glide through my fingers as she gently emerged into the pool. Sienna was born at 3pm.
I looked through the water, at my tiny little baby, still curled up almost unaware that she was no longer in my womb. I gently lifted her out of the water with both hands. As her face met the warm summer air, a little hand stretched out to touch her. It was her big brother who had just witnessed her birth and was already asking to hold her.
I rested my sweet little Sienna on my chest. She was slow to breathe, perhaps a little shocked by her speedy delivery. I felt her cord, it was pulsing strongly. I blew lightly on her face and she took a deep breath and began to grimace. She pinked up quickly and opened her eyes, she was just as alert as her big brother had been when he was born, Sienna took in her world, her family, her doula and then settled in for her first breastfeed.
I felt strong cramps while Sienna was feeding and my placenta came away fully intact after about 40 mins with a few pushes. We popped the placenta into a bowl and had a good look at it, what an amazing organ it is. I passed Sienna to her Daddy who was waiting with a towel for her, and handed the placenta bowl to my doula.
My family sat on the couch admiring our beautiful new addition, while my doula helped me out of the pool wrapped me in my dressing down and showed me to my postpartum ready made sofa 'nest'.
I fed sienna again and noticed her cold white floppy cord pressed into my tummy. I decided we should probably call a midwife. After a little confusion I explained that I wasn't in labour, but had already given birth.
I reassured them all was well and I was told someone would be with me in an hour to assist us with cutting the cord. We all sat and enjoyed making phone calls to loved ones and sharing the news of Sienna's arrival.
My doula left, after a giving me a big cuddle and having a sniff of my sweet baby’s head. We ate some food and realised the midwife had not yet arrived. We called again and one arrived within 10 mins. Matt cut the cord and tied it off using a cord ring. The midwife listened to Sienna's birth story and said it sounded exactly like what I had hoped for. It really was, I am not sure I would have felt brave enough to plan an unassisted home birth. But the way it turned out was perfect. The midwife left.
Matt, Jacob and I put on our PJs, kissed each other good night and went to bed, Sienna tucked into my nightdress skin-to-skin and Jacob cuddled up to his Daddy. We were now a family of four."
"I got through 17 hours of labour using Alice’s wonderful advice without any drugs.....thank you Alice.
The Truro Birth Centre was mega and the staff were amazing, I floated about in the hot tub for quite a few hours and had to go to the delivery suite in the end for an assisted delivery, which wasn’t what we’d planned, but the result was what we wanted.. e.g. a cute baby!
He was calm throughout the whole process and I put this down to Hypnobirthing and the importance placed on being calm, breathing and being positive.
He’s doing well and is just scrumptious. Oh it definitely made a huge difference, I would recommend it to anyone....in fact I am telling everyone who listens about how amazing Hypnobirthing is!"
"Our new addition arrived on Saturday night, a little boy, we had a home birth which was just incredible!
I felt so in control and everything happened very quickly, 3.5 hours in total and only 20 mins of pushing.
My previous labour lasted for 24 hours so quite an improvement. I think this is partially due to the course.
I worried before that perhaps I hadn’t listened to it enough etc but I think even what I did was so worth it. I had the affirmations playing during the birth which was a wonderful gentle reminder to keep going and I could do this.
I was so pleased to get the birth I wanted, as this is our final child and our family is now complete.
We couldn’t afford a course in our area as they’re £250+ so this online version was so much more accessible for me.
Anyway, huge thanks to you, I’ll be recommending it to my other pregnant friends!"
Your imagination is a powerful tool. It can dictate, to some extent, how we perceive sensory information including images, sounds, tastes and feelings, including pain.
Re the laurel / yanny phenomenon... Altering the volume or pitch isn't a complete explanation, because with practise you can teach yourself to hear either word at will
Neuroscientist Gabriella Musacchia says that faced with confusing information, the brain decides within a fraction of a second what it will hear.
“We use statistical probability to make almost all of our perceptual decisions... you hear what you listen for."
Play the video and see what happens when you decide to hear either the words 'brainstorm' or 'green needle'.
So what's this got to do with birth?
Some mums report that they decided to interpret the sensations of birth not as pain, but as 'power', 'warmth', 'surges', 'rushes', 'waves' or a 'strong physical sensation that requires all of my focus'.
This isn't woolly wishful thinking. Evidence suggests that self-hypnosis does indeed seem to significantly alter the perception of pain.
Practise controlling physical sensations with the 'comfort dial' (in your pregnancy relaxation MP3).
Test your skills by getting someone to give you a good chinese burn, whilst you focus on keeping calm and breathing deeply!
I met Rae (and her beautiful cats) when she was an excited first-time mother in 2014; providing her with birth doula and hypnobirthing support...
"I have practised Alice's hypnobirthing techniques in every pregnancy and birth and I really cannot imagine labouring without them. I am so grateful that her knowledge and skill has helped me have joyous, wonderful births. I feel almost evangelical about spreading the word of hypnobirthing - it gives women back such a mind blowing power and trust in our bodies.
When I was unexpectedly induced because of pre-eclampsia with our first son, the affirmations helped me to stay grounded, happy and focused despite everything going on around me.
I thought my second birth was pretty amazing but when our beautiful third child, our second daughter, arrived everything was even more instinctive and relaxed.
Early and then active labour was at home in our bedroom... chatting as our 3 year old watched Thomas the Tank Engine and our shoe-obsessed 1 year old bossed me around trying to get me to put on leopard print wedges (!), while the cat got into the wardrobe and noisily insisted that I joined her and made a nest to deliver my kittens (!!) I smile so much when I think of it and I was also smiling lots at the time.
As my contractions intensified I used Alice's breathing techniques and continued to listen to the affirmation tracks downloaded to my phone. I felt calm and in control throughout and in a very short space of time (my labour was 4 hours from the first contraction to holding our daughter, something I attribute to hypnobirthing and letting my body take over completely), I was standing and breathing my daughter out... Something I had heard of but not experienced before in my other two births.
It's hard to put the memory I have of it into words, but my body knew exactly what to do and the hypnobirthing helped me be in the perfect mind space to let it. It was incredibly intense, with every inch of my body involved, but not in any way frightening, painful or even an effort really.
I felt the strongest I have ever felt in my life and very in-tune with my daughter too. We were working together for her to be born in the most beautiful way.
Lots of people also commented on how content my little ones seemed in their first few weeks and I'm sure that's down to the peacefulness that hypnobirthing gave me and them through labour.
Thank you Alice. A hundred times over. I am so, so grateful to have first met you and been able to use hynobirthing to bring my three babies into the world xx"
Lauren in Illinois tells us about her hypnobirthing experience:
"My first two children were both induced a week late, and with the second one, it was an intense and painful experience. I was really wanting to avoid that again.
My third birth experience using hypno-birthing was pleasant and satisfying. Hypno-birthing really helped me remain calm, relaxed, and positive. I listened to your mp3s and the calming background music throughout the entire experience. When my labor kept stopping and going, it was frustrating, but I just listened to and repeated the affirmations that I had been practicing and it made me feel calm and empowered.
I did end up having pitocin and eventually an epidural, but the mp3s really helped me remain positive.
Thank you for helping me have this wonderful experience! This program is also perfect for parents that already have children. All the classes I found in my area were not only very expensive but were not conducive to parents that would have to find childcare one night a week for multiple months.
This program is affordable and nice because you can go through it at your own pace.
I made a collage of all the affirmations and put it on my wall where I saw it every morning when I woke up.
The only problem I had was staying awake through the hypno-birthing tracks. I tried it at different times of the day and in different places, it didn't matter, I woke up about 20 minutes after the track ended almost every time. I think it is because being pregnant with two kids is exhausting
It also takes up a lot of your spare time, however I feel it was totally worth it. I only started this in my third trimester, I may have gone even further without an epidural if I had started this at the beginning of my pregnancy.
It helped me keep a positive outlook during my pregnancy and during labor, I would recommend hypno-birthing to any new mom-to-be!"
"Our very heartfelt thanks to you for an excellent course. We really enjoyed it and got a lot out of it. We feel closer on our journey to having our baby. We felt that your delivery was professional, yet personal and from the heart"Katy Bryce & Adam Weismann, Manaccan
Due to popular demand, I'm excited to announce my new hypnobirthing classes in Norwich and Norfolk!
Private home hypnobirthing workshops enable you and your birth partner(s) to explore hypnobirthing together in the comfort and convenience of your home, in an in-depth personalised way. Face-to-face sessions may also increase motivation and actively engage birth partners.
My hypnobirthing classes in Norfolk may be taken over one 4hr intensive or two separate 2+hr sessions. As it's a private class the content is straight to the point ~ we skip the fluff involved in group classes.
Everything you need is provided, including your full program of hypnobirthing MP3s, ongoing birth consultation, support and my online hypnobirthing guide.
The cost of hypnobirthing in Norwich or Norfolk is £275 including expenses. All areas are covered from Thetford to Hunstanton and Great Yarmouth.
No, this is an outdated idea. Evidence finds that hypnosis is a state of deep focus. You can be in hypnosis without feeling relaxed (watching a horror film) and you can be relaxed without being in hypnosis.
Relaxation is often used to help quieten your mind and enter hypnosis (it's super useful for much of the birth journey) but during transition and 2nd stage you might feel more energised than relaxed...
If you're able to keep focused you're in hypnosis, no matter how relaxed you are.
Congratulations Catie and Richard! Love your affirmation...
"I didn't do the course completely properly but I took on board the positivity and the science behind relaxing, which I had failed to fully absorb from doing NCT with my first baby.
I did go into labour with a completely different attitude to last time (when I was just terrified). I tried to do my own version of positive thinking and mentally telling my uterus it was doing a ‘good job’ on each contraction. This time was less painful and much faster. I felt much more connected to my body this time, like we were on the same team.
It was much less painful overall and I didn't have an epidural (but that is partly because it was crazy fast and the hospital was understaffed). I definitely think hypnobirthing made a huge difference to my birth experience and really helped me.
"Thanks so much for your great resources, my birth went as well as I could have hoped, and really was an amazing experience: a six hour, calm home birth
I had lots going on during my pregnancy including the serious illness of a family member, and had been worried that I hadn't been able to focus enough on my birth preparation for it to make a difference, but I'm convinced that the amount that I did manage practice really helped.
I had your birth affirmations playing throughout my labour, and found it invaluable in keeping me focused and relaxed ('accepting the sensations', 'handing control over to my body', keeping my body as 'floppy as a ragdoll'!) The midwives even commented on how relaxed I had been: they didn't examine me until I was already 10cms dilated, and the baby arrived about 20 minutes later - I gave one push and then just kept breathing and out he came in a few minutes!
I feel completely empowered by the whole experience, and I think about it often in my day to day life with a smile. I really think I will draw on the mental and physical resources I now know I have to get me through other challenges in my life in the future. My little boy, Rio, is also a very tranquil little soul and he's already sleeping through the night (at 11 weeks!) which might have something to do with his gentle arrival, who knows?!"
"For my first baby, I wanted a drug-free birth and was able to have one thanks to the techniques I learned and practiced in this hypnobirthing course, as well as having a doula.
I felt that my birth moved fairly quickly because I was able to just be in the moment and not feel stressed or anxious. I usually have a lot of anxiety and without hypnobirthing and a doula to help me remember the relaxation and breathing techniques, I think the birth would’ve been much longer and harder...however, I was able to deliver my big baby girl, Claire Valerie (9lbs!) in just a few hours with no complications or interventions.
I would definitely recommend hypnobirthing to anyone hoping to have a natural and more relaxed birth!"
Claire in Italy has a tattoo on her back where an epidural would be sited...
"After meeting with an anaesthesiologist at 30 weeks pregnant and discovering that I was ineligible for an epidural, I actively searched for a program to help me navigate the birthing process, and was SO HAPPY to have discovered hypnobirthing and especially this program!
I meditated once or twice a day and rehearsed positions with my birth partner, which proved critical to getting through 18 hours of medically induced labor.
I'm not a super proactive person, but I found these lessons extremely manageable to complete as they were not too long, plus they kept me 100% calm and in control as my due date approached.
Having listened to the recordings together, my husband coached me through the breathing techniques to cope with the waves, and I was able to rest fully and completely during the 2 minute pauses between waves, which was key to avoiding a cesarean.
At the end, using the pushing breathing techniques, I pushed out my "little" baby boy (9lbs / 4.1kg, 52cm) in 3 contractions and felt like a superhero through the whole process!"
"Hi Alice, I am happy to report I had a fantastic labour. It progressed quickly - in the car I was in active labour - thankfully I learned your visualisation techniques and other coping mechanisms so I put these into place. Had I not done this I don’t think I would have coped as well and labour would not have been as smooth/quick.
I was able to manage the contractions with ease. I arrived at the hospital and gave birth 15 minutes later with a few pushes and a little gas and air.
I have recommended your hypnobirthing to others and am very grateful for the practice, it was money well spent. This was my second birth, the first one was very long and painful, resulting in a forceps delivery so I was so glad this one went as well as it did. Thank you!"
Recent feedback reveals that parents want to know more about induction - the benefits, risks and alternatives, what it involves and how it can cause different, very painful sensations compared to spontaneous birth.
The first hypnobirthing training course I attended in 2006 contained a meme which said: "induction is the quickest way to have a painful, complicated birth." I thought this was a little defeatist! Not all induced mothers have a horrible time, but it's true that induction is more likely to lead to birth plans being thrown out of the window...
The choice is yours - you may accept or decline induction
Relax. Birth won't begin or progress well if mums are stressed or anxious
If mums choose an epidural they haven't 'failed'. Induction is a medical intervention that frequently requires medical pain relief (even if you're the best hypnobirther in the world!) 80% of my induced hypnobirthing mums choose an epidural (vs 10% of my non-induced moms)
Hypnobirthing helps you stay calm and focused, no matter what!
"Epidural was not where I saw myself going but I was exhausted having had no sleep for days, and it gave me the rest I needed"
20% of births are induced in the UK, why?
Induction is offered if there's any chance that it might be safer for the baby to be born. Reasons can include a poorly mum or baby, but the most common reasons are pregnancy beyond 41+ weeks, or her waters have broken for a while without contractions starting yet.
I'm healthy, low-risk and 41+ weeks - should I accept induction?
It's up to you. If mothers await spontaneous birth after 41+ weeks the risk of a baby dying during pregnancy, birth or shortly afterwards is thought to be around 0.16% (between 1-2 in 1000). With inducing birth at 41+ weeks the risk may be reduced to 0.07% (around 1 in 1000) (if you are over 40 years of age the risks may be at a similar level after 40+ weeks). This NHS leaflet is excellent at explaining the research and options.
"If a woman chooses not to have induction of labour, her decision should be respected. Healthcare professionals should discuss the woman's care with her from then on."
'Expectant management' means awaiting spontaneous birth. Increased monitoring is offered including ultrasound scans and CTG monitoring a few times a week.
What does induction involve? The aim is to encourage the natural physiological birth process as much as possible...
1. Pre-induction: a cervical sweep is typically offered at a mum's routine 41 week appointment. If the cervix has shortened and is stretchy enough, the careprovider can insert two gloved fingers into the vagina, up through the opening of the cervix and sweep their fingers around in a circular motion, to separate the bag of waters from the neck of the womb.
Benefits = for 1 in 8 women it might reduce the chance of further induction methods
2. Prostaglandin drug: a mother is admitted to the antenatal ward at hospital. If her cervix is closed and hasn't thinned much, a dose of artificial prostaglandin (a tablet, gel or plastic tampon) will be inserted high up in the vagina. The aim is to 'ripen' the cervix to trigger natural contractions to start, or at least enough so that the bag of waters can be broken the following day (amniotomy). Women are encouraged to leave the ward and go for a walk, or in some areas may be able to go home and return later. Prostaglandin treatment can take up to a couple of days.
Benefits = around 30% of women give birth naturally without further intervention
Risks = vaginal / cervical soreness, hypertonic uterus, fetal distress syndrome, abnormal labour affecting the baby (between 1:10 - 1:100), nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea (between 1:100 - 1:1000), disappointment, boredom, lack of sleep, birth partner sent home at night Alternatives = await spontaneous birth, ask about balloon catheter dilation or caesarean
3. Amniotomy / breaking the waters: On delivery ward, if the cervix has thinned and opened enough, a long crochet hook-like device is passed through the vagina and cervix to rupture the amniotic sac. This is done to encourage prostaglandin release / physiological birth to begin, or before the commencement of artificial oxytocin infusion to trigger contractions.
Benefits = Some research suggests quicker progress with less intervention following amniotomy
Risks = scratching the baby, maternal discomfort, introducing infection, small risk of cord prolapse or accidentally puncturing a major blood vessel
Alternatives = await spontaneous birth, ask about more prostaglandin ripening / balloon catheter dilation or caesarean
"Although nothing seemed to have gone to plan I remained very calm throughout the whole experience and what was 3 days seemed like 1 with the most important thing in the end a healthy & happy baby!"
4. Intravenous artificial oxytocin drip: On delivery ward, a synthetic hormone (Pitocin / Syntocinon) is infused to initiate and strengthen contractions to dilate the cervix and aid the baby's passage through the pelvis. Continuous monitoring is required to observe the rate of contractions and the baby's heartrate.
Benefits = can dilate the cervix and birth the baby without the need for caesarean
Risks = Common: abnormal pain requiring epidural, uterine hyperstimulation with fetal distress, headache, nausea, vomiting, slow, fast or irregular heartbeat (mum), failed induction leading to caesarean
Other potential things to note include reduced mobility, and CTG may also increase the risk of caesarean. Epidural also increases the chance of having an assisted delivery (forceps / ventouse)
Alternatives = await spontaneous birth, or ask for a caesarean
"My contractions escalated extremely fast and I only managed to use breathing techniques for about one hour till the pain got unbearable and I asked for an epidural at 5 cm dilated. The relief was instant!"
... Induction is what it is really! With effective preparation and pain relief (be that hypnobirthing or epidural) parents can have a wonderful birth... Read a collection of hypnobirthing induction stories to see how we got on!
(This guide is provided for information only, it is not medical advice. Parents should do their own research and consult with their local care providers)
Just wanted to email and let you know that yesterday (30:11:2016) I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy, baby girl at Helston Birth Unit; I was lucky enough to deliver in the pool as planned.
It was the most incredible experience of my life and this is mainly due to the Hypnobirthing course I did with you. I cannot recommend you and your work enough!
Labour was 12 hours from my waters breaking naturally, to baby being born and I did it all with absolutely no pain relief! I am beyond proud of what we achieved! And I can safely say before meeting you it's something I never thought possible.
Baby and I are both doing so well.
Thanks again Alice. I couldn't have done it without you!"
"Alice has given me so much confidence to feel relaxed about giving birth. I am currently 36 weeks and planning to have a natural birth in a midwife led birthing unit. The hypnobirthing sessions led by Alice created an opportunity for my partner and I to talk out loud and explore our feelings, reservations, to someone totally neutral.
After our lengthly discussions I felt my partner and I fully understood our birth plan and how we can support each other. Not only with the hypnobirthing guidance but useful tips for my partner to assist me in breathing and helping me to feel grounded and comfortable. Alice gave us her undivided attention and never seemed in a rush. I am a yoga teacher so was extremely interested in the benefits of hypnobirthing. I am yet to see if I can tune in to that mindset, positive thought process and breathing technique but for now as soon as I create space to listen to the soundtracks at home I feel profoundly different. I feel deeply connected to my body, my breath and our baby.
I would highly recommend Alice to anyone. She is professional, so welcoming and natural and has helped me immensely.
Another positive hypnobirthing story despite things not going quite to plan! Well done Vicki & Andy, welcome Rowan :)
"So here is how hypnobirthing helped me... Due to high blood pressure I was not allowed to have the water birth I wanted, and I was getting worried that I would be convinced to get induced. So on my due date I relaxed and asked my baby to come.
During some bedtime fun with my partner at around 11pm I got my first contraction! I decided to try and sleep but unfortunately the surges came thick and fast and I started to be quite sick. I was very thirsty but with every bit of water I took in it came back out! Despite this I remained really calm and relaxed and tried to breathe through each surge. I must admit I found this quite difficult due to the tightening around my tummy but I continued to do so.
We rang the midwife in the morning and she suggested we went straight to Treliske (due to my blood pressure and signs of pre-eclampsia). The car journey was tough but I remained calm and listened to my relaxing music whilst laying on the back seat. We stopped a few times so I could be sick and took our time - my partner driving carefully over any bumps!
When we got to the hospital (at around midday) the midwife thought I looked very pale so took us to a room. A urine test revealed I was very dehydrated so was put on a drip straight away.
We put on my music, I smelt the lovely frankincense oil which had a very hypnotic effect, and carried on relaxing and breathing. My partner was amazing - during pretty much every surge he pressed points on my lower back which made them bearable, and tried feeding me bits of food (I still couldn't keep anything down).
The midwives popped in every so often and always said how lovely it smelt and how well we were doing. The surges were coming every 5-10 minutes and in hindsight I wish I had walked around a bit more but I just wanted to be still on the bed.
There were some amazing moments of bonding between my partner and myself, and I had a lovely deep hot bath at around 8pm which was amazingly relaxing and really helped me to get on top of things. One affirmation I kept on repeating in my head was "its not pain its power" which really helped me get through it.
At around 11pm a midwife checked me and was surprised to find I was 8 cm dilated! She commented that there were not that many women having their first baby who got that far with only a paracetamol and very little fuss! I felt quite proud of myself and decided to have some gas and air as I thought it wouldn't be too long until baby arrived.
They took me up to delivery suite where I think the change of scene made me go a bit off-track and I started to get quite tired. I still kept up the breathing and relaxing. I had another whole night of it, and by the next morning I was still only 8cm! With my blood pressure rising and ketones in my urine it was gently suggested that I could go for an epidural and augmentation. We decided this would be the best option as I was so tired and still could not eat much. So our beautiful boy Rowan came into the world around 1pm two days past his due date, after an hour and a half of pushing. He was 8lb15 and a quarter and it was noted how calm he remained throughout the whole labour.
Although I did not have the water birth I wanted I feel Alice's hypnobirthing course and MP3's really helped me in the few months before having Rowan. I felt calm, informed and prepared.
Although the birth was tough going, there were some really lovely moments that I just don't think would have happened if I was scared or panicking.
I would recommend to anyone who is going to have a baby to do the course. Alice has a lovely calm and gentle manner which instilled a sense of ancient womanly wisdom to me that I knew was there - it just needed a little coaxing out !
"I undertook Alice's hypnobirthing course for my first baby, a beautiful little girl who came into the world in July 2016.
Watching the videos really helped me visualise how I wanted my birth to be - which was really important to me to help me prepare.
When anyone asked me if i was nervous about the birth I would say 'No, the birth will be in the water, it will be beautiful and my baby will just pop out' - which I probably wouldn't have said if I hadn't done the hypnobirthing course!
I found the first stage of labour fine, the second was more painful but I was hugely helped by the visualisations and affirmations, and Alice was on the ipod in the background! The third stage was also manageable.
I will say that vocalising very loudly and mooing like a cow helped me (unlike the very serene women I saw in the vids), but whatever helps you is fine I guess.
My labour was far from pain free, however, without the hypno course I am unsure how I would have handled it / coped.
After the birth I realised that in fact I had delivered my first baby with no pain relief, no intervention, and without any tearing which is pretty much a miracle. And I'm certain that the course was the major factor in helping that little miracle happen.
We left the hospital the same day and I was driving and walking about the next day perfectly healthy.
Frankie, my baby, is an extremely content, happy little girl - and I firmly believe she is a product of a calm and healthy mother - one I might not be if i hadn't practised hypnobirthing.
I have already recommended the course to my friends."
Today's focus on - That moment when you can finally feel the baby's head coming out... And then it disappears back up!!
As your baby's head is about to crown, it may feel like they keep 'slipping back' after each contraction...
This helps your tissues stretch out gradually. Once your baby's head has come down far enough, they will 'crown' as their head is able to extend beneath the pubic arch at the front of your pelvis. Midwives often describe this as babies 'getting round the bend'
Once the whole of your baby's head has been born, you may be waiting a couple of minutes for the next contraction to fully deliver your baby.
Your baby's shoulders naturally rotate internally so their head turns to the side before they are born :)
- Squatting can open up the diameter of the pelvic outlet by an estimated 30% - making much easier passage for the baby.
- No need to rush! If all is well your baby will make his or her way down when their position is right and they have room.
- A panting breath can help to prevent bearing down too rapidly and possible tearing or bruising to the mother
- Reaching down to feel the progress of your baby, or looking in a mirror can be a great reassurance!
Caroline tells us about her positive hypnobirthing experience with her beautiful baby Noah last month... Congratulations and well done!
... To give some background... If mums are over 40 yrs, OBs typically offer induction around the baby's due date, because the risk of stillbirth might be increased (to 0.2%). However, other research suggests that if a mother has given birth before, there may actually be less increased risk (Hilder et al 2007)... As ever... the choice is always a mother's :)
"I was medically induced at 41 weeks due to being over 40; my consultant had wanted to induce labour at 39 weeks but I refused.
I was waiting for the induction to take effect for 24 hours, and was having gentle surges towards the end of this time.
Although in the couple of times I was distracted during a surge (like when there was someone fixing the TV next to me) and I didn't drop into a hypnotic state I could really feel the difference. If I wasn't practising hypnobirthing I can imagine those "gentle" surges would feel a lot more uncomfortable.
My waters were broken and things moved very fast and I gave birth in a standing position just 56 minutes later. The speed of the labour took all of us by surprise, the midwife hadn't even got a birth pack ready yet!
I definitely believe the ease of this birth is down to being so relaxed from using hypnobirthing; it was a joyful experience, not the traumatic experience people are led to believe. Many thanks for providing such a wonderful service."
I was lucky enough to be invited to attend and capture this birth last month... Always amazing to witness a family welcoming their baby! Congratulations to Sarah & Miles; welcome Agnes <3
Here's Sarah's birth story...
"I had a very positive labour and home birth of my second child after taking Alice's hypnobirthing course.
I practised the pregnancy relaxation and other tracks during my pregnancy until 34 weeks most days, usually at bedtime and then the birth preparation track everyday. I really enjoyed my time doing this-20 minutes of me time when I really relaxed, became mindful and felt positive about the birth.
I had some anxieties based on my first labour but these were always calmed by practising hypnobirthing and I actually looked forward to giving birth and had confidence in my body's ability to do it.
When I went into active labour I put the birth affirmations on my ipod, felt immediately relaxed and kept them on throughout as I moved around and stayed active.
When the contractions became stronger and longer I really focused on what Alice was saying, on relaxing my whole body and breathing through each contraction. With each in breath I said to myself "I am strong" and with each outbreath "I let go and relax". It helped to focus my mind on the current contraction and nothing else, and see each contraction as a positive thing bringing me closer to the birth of my baby.
I got into the birth pool just before transition and we put the affirmations on out loud on the laptop. I found transition and second stage hard work but I think because I had been so relaxed during labour my body knew what to do and Agnes Trevenen was born very quickly after a couple of pushes into the water.
The whole experience of being at home, practising active labour moving around the house/the garden/having a bath, and the focus on the breath and positive birth affirmations made it an incredible, moving experience. I would recommend Alice Kirby's hypnobirthing course to any pregnant person."
"My first two children were both induced a week late, and with the second one, it was an intense and painful experience. I was really wanting to avoid that again.
My third birth experience using hypno-birhing was pleasant and satisfying. Hypno-birthing really helped me remain calm, relaxed, and positive. I listened to your MP3s and the calming background music throughout the entire experience.
When my labor kept stopping and going, it was frustrating, but I just listened to and repeated the affirmations that I had been practising and it made me feel calm and empowered. I did end up having pitocin and eventually an epidural, but the MP3s really helped me remain positive. Thank you for helping me have this wonderful experience!
This program is also perfect for parents that already have children. All the classes I found in my area were not only very expensive but were not conducive to parents that would have to find childcare one night a week for multiple months. This program is affordable and nice because you can go through it at your own pace.
I made a collage of all the affirmations and put it on my wall where I saw it every morning when I woke up.
The only problem I had was staying awake through the hypno-birthing tracks. I tried it at different times of the day and in different places, it didn't matter, I woke up about 20 minutes after the track ended almost every time. I think it is because being pregnant with two kids is exhausting :) It also takes up a lot of your spare time, however I feel it was totally worth it.
I only started this in my third trimester, I may have gone even further without an epidural if I had started this at the beginning of my pregnancy. It helped me keep a positive outlook during my pregnancy and during labor, I would recommend hypno-birthing to any new mom-to-be.
... Thank you so much for your wonderful tracks and class. They made my whole birth experience more relaxing and positive. It also made me have a positive attitude during my pregnancy. Thank you for helping me give birth to a beautiful baby girl named Rose :)"
Considering some interesting research today on whether already having a baby influences the safety of awaiting natural birth...
Hilder et al (2007) conducted a retrospective analysis of 145,695 singleton births in London, and found that the incidence of perinatal mortality for babies born to first time mums at 42 weeks was 0.3%, compared to just 0.1% if mums had already given birth before...
Mothers should be supported in making their own informed choices; based on evidence, instinct and preference.
Be open to whatever path your birth journey takes... Well done Stephanie, who gave birth to beautiful Noah last month ♥
Just thought I'd let you know our baby boy arrived yesterday. I was so confident and looking forward to birth thanks to hypnobirthing. Although we didn't manage to make it to Penrice and ended up having an unexpected home birth, it was a lovely experience. Breathing techniques helped and it felt like my body took over and pushed him out for me!
Just wanted to say thank you for being part of making this a different experience for me. I really am very grateful for the help you gave and changing my way of thinking. It was such a positive experience and happy to know that I had the chance to have a birth like that to complete our family"
A little thing (not even worth recounting) happened on the school run this morning, that got me to thinking about how - unless we're mindful of this - other people's 'stuff' can affect us.
When I was a 19 year old psychology & counselling student, we were doing some sort of group exercise in class. In response to something long forgotten, my teacher - a formidable woman - said to me:-
"Don't give away your power".
Perhaps I was doing that very British thing of apologising or giving way unnecessarily - I can't really remember. But the phrase stuck with me.
I wrapped "don't give anyone your power" around myself this morning... But I wondered how it could be worded positively, and in the 1st person, as an affirmation...
'I keep my power' ?
'My power is mine' ?
In childbirth one often enters into systems of healthcare that are historically patriarchal in nature.
A mother from Italy recently contacted me to say that her midwives repeatedly asked her to remove the headphones she was using for hypnobirthing (for seemingly no good reason) and she felt very disrupted.
Why do we give away our power?
The instinct to comply with the instructions of a doctor, midwife or nurse is part of western culture, I suppose. We're told to be good patients, to do what we're told - they're the experts. They hold the power. This is why phrases like "we don't let you", "we don't allow you to..." persist.
Yet it is OUR birth, not THEIR birth. They have their own 'stuff' to deal with (pressures from managers, risk management, sometimes low staff morale, burnout and bullying), but we can decide to hold onto our own power.
Denying us our autonomy puts us in a vulnerable position. It is not good care. Caregivers should always take as much time as possible to carefully listen to us, understand our needs, explain our options and set out our choices in a neutral, unbiased way.
It is this good standard of care that can make the difference, however a baby is born.
Holding onto your power doesn't mean ignoring professional opinion. It just means insisting on being treated respectfully. During birth, good midwives and birth partners (possibly including a doula) can 'hold the space' for you - making sure that you have an active (rather than passive) birth experience, no matter what path your journey takes.
Birth story just in! New mum Jo gave birth last November, with a few surprises along the way... Well done Jo & Ant, welcome Astraya :)
"I was 41 weeks + 4 days when my waters broke at 4.30am. I woke my husband up (who was overjoyed to not have to go in to work that day), got back in to bed with a packet of chocolate digestives and waited. Nothing was really happening by about 6.30am, so, perched on a big pile of towels (I was still losing quite a lot of fluid), we went to Mcdonalds to pick up some breakfast and fill up on calories.
I visited the midwife at about 11.30am, who just confirmed my waters had broken and that my blood pressure was slightly elevated. She contacted the midwife on call who said she would come to us once things were progressing.
It wasn't until about 1.30pm that the contractions started, but there was no slow build up or 'niggles' that you hear of. They started really strong and regular - only about 3 minutes apart.
By the time the midwife turned up at about 6.30pm, I was struggling to cope and nothing really helped. The speed and ferocity of the contractions convinced me that I must be pretty well dilated, and was disappointed to find out I was only 3cm when she examined me and "not even in labour!"
On top of that my blood pressure was way too high, so she had to call an ambulance to transfer me to Treliske. She was really apologetic and felt terrible I couldn't stay at home as planned, but I was relieved in a way as I knew I was going to need some pain relief.
They gave me some gas and air in the ambulance which helped for a couple of contractions but then the sensations changed. The intensity went up to a whole new level in the ambulance. This is apparently when I "went into labour", and the gas and air did nothing at all.
I'm guessing because I was only 3cm at home, they thought there wouldn't be much happening for a while. They didn't examine me when I got to hospital, but the midwife when I arrived on delivery suite commented on the strength of the contractions.
One contraction was massive and pushed down really strongly. The midwife asked if I wanted to push and I said yes, but it wasn't a matter of having the urge to push, my body was just doing it.
She said she was just going to have a quick check, and was surprised to find the baby's head pretty much ready to come out. So I pushed and there she was... Astraya Willow Speed. I was in labour for about 1 hour 45 mins. No tearing!!!!
As soon as she was born it was amazing. I felt like nothing had happened - no pain, no exhaustion, just got right up and had some tea and toast and a bath. The midwives were amazed. It was less traumatic then ASDA on a Saturday afternoon, haha. And even the next day, after what my body had done, I would of expected some muscle pain but nothing. Amazing!
I'm pretty sure that my relaxed attitude leading up to the birth and my mindset must of been to thank for the quick birth. I honestly didn't have anything to do with it. My body just got right on with things and I let it. I do believe I'd conditioned my mind to let my body take over and I'm sure that's why it was so quick.
I thought they were great at Treliske and I wasn't disappointed that I'd had her in hospital. It was still in the end what I thought to be a totally natural, non-traumatic birth, and she was completely alert but calm when she was born.
I would definitely recommend yourself and hypnobirthing to people in the future.
Astraya was diagnosed with a duodenal atresia several days later (malformation of a tube between the stomach and bowel), and was rushed to Bristol for major surgery. She spent the next month in hospital. However she made an amazing recovery and after 3 weeks of nil by mouth, took to breastfeeding straight away. I'm still feeding her now at 6 months."
Birth is a journey. Different rhythms at different times. Transition is that point where your body prepares to push your baby down the birth canal. Adrenaline-type hormones are suddenly released to bring on increasingly expulsive contractions.
As a side effect, it's normal, normal, normal for most mothers to feel some degree of self-doubt at this point - even if they've been breathing and relaxing effectively thus far.
It can sometimes feel like a 'top-of-the-rollercoaster' moment. Depending on how YOU get on with adrenaline, you may feel suddenly frightened, or indeed excited and exhilarated.
A mother's eyes might suddenly open widely, alert and dark, dilated pupils. They can say odd things out of the blue, for example:-
"I want to go home"
"I can't do this anymore"
Or in one of my favourite Janet Balaskas birth videos -
"YESSSSSSS! Come on baby"!
Birth partners should be aware of transition - reassure and remind Mum that she's doing a great job - these feelings mean that you'll be meeting your baby real soon.
For mothers - use whatever sounds, positions and breathing styles that feel right, when you're contemplating and shooting down that rollercoaster
"My contractions were strong and I began to become fearful of how I would cope [Klaire then chose to have a large glass of Zinfandel].... Ahhh that was a well deserved glass of wine, and really helped me to loosen up. I was laughing between the contractions and relaxing more and refocusing on the task ahead."
"By about 2am the surges were getting really strong but still not painful just really intense. I start vocalising instinctively on the out breath and find it really helps to release the tension. I am then sick during a strong surge and think I’m probably in transition – woo hoo! I start feeling pressure but the contractions aren’t expulsive yet. It doesn’t take long before I start grunting and feel my body pushing. I ask DH to get in the pool and he comforts me."
"The hypnobirthing breathing was absolutely essential as I moved towards transition and the contractions got really fast. Just when I doubted my ability to cope, the midwife brought gas and air at just the right time. The delivery suite was still full and I couldn't go upstairs! I think the midwives doubted how well I was progressing, until I got on the toilet and felt the urge to push! Then I was rushed upstairs very quickly and into the delivery suite. It was quite exhilarating then, as the pushing sensation wasn't nearly as painful as the contractions, I quite enjoyed it with the gas and air!"
"As we arrived at the hospital the surges were very strong and as we were walking through the corridors I began to have doubts and become fearful. I believe now this may have been transition. I managed to focus myself back into it and after being quickly admitted to a delivery room and being examined by a midwife, I was declared to be 8-9cm dilated."
"I genuinely thought I was dying in transition! I’m annoyed with myself for not realising at the time. My doulas kept saying “it’s ok you’re in transition” but I don’t remember this at all! I also took all my clothes off and drank 2 pints of water in one go because of a sudden I was so hot and thirsty!"
"My husband was so incredible during the transition, he remembered exactly what to say. I had coped amazingly, breathing through my contractions but when the transition came I felt like I was losing all control. All my husband did was touch my shoulder and say ‘relax, release’ and it took me back to ‘the zone’ I will be forever grateful. He was the best birthing partner! Pushing felt like heaven after that!
"I did start slapping myself all over my face and mouth which was probably some natural distraction thing, LOL"
Midwife Ina May Gaskin, Ina May's Guide to Childbirth:-
“The strangest request I have encountered was that of a first-time mother who - just before pushing - asked her husband for a jar of peanut butter and proceeded to eat two heaping table-spoonfuls. She then washed the peanut butter down with nearly a quart of raspberry leaf tea and pushed her baby out. I was impressed.”
Ok... We're not advising medical coma as the best way to give birth, but vaginal childbirth whilst in a coma can, and does happen, as the stories below attest...
The parts of our brain and nervous system in control of the birth process are primitive, instinctive and automatic. Our bodies usually know how to get our babies out, all by themselves.
During birth, our cervix ripens, our uterus muscles gather up rhythmically and the neck of the womb begins to open. Our babies inch down and down as the muscle fibres in the womb shorten, then the powerful muscles of the uterus begin to actively push babies down the birth canal - a powerful expulsive reflex that does not require a mother's conscious assistance from the muscles of her abdomen (although she may feel very much like goingwith those strong urges!)
When our neocortex is quietened (that part of our brain that analyses, overthinks and worries), our innate instincts take over, our bodies simply flow through the birth process, rather than forcing or indeed fighting it. People call this optimal mental state the 'birth zone'.
All (non-comatose) mammals require certain conditions to be met in order for this primitive physiology to kick in... that is - feeling relaxed before birth commences, and having a very quiet, warm, safe space where we feel loved, supported and free to do what feels good from one contraction to the next.
"One cannot actively 'help' a woman to give birth naturally. The goal is to avoid disturbing her unnecessarily"Michel Odent, surgeon & childbirth expert
Examples of women giving birth in a comatose or 'vegetative state' (what a horrible term!) are a stark reminder of how birth is essentially an automatic physical process, requiring little or no conscious input, even when the body is in crisis. Thankfully all of the following birth stories have happy endings, with the mothers waking up...
Emma fell into a coma after contracting pneumonia at 27 weeks of pregnancy. She went into labour prematurely two weeks later, and gave birth to a healthy daughter named Amy (3lbs 5oz). Nurses only noticed that Amy was on her way when her head emerged! Emma regained consciousness a further two weeks later, and was well enough to be discharged home after another two weeks. She says of her birth:
"It seemed incredible to think that I had given birth naturally whilst I was still in a coma. I hadn’t consciously pushed or experienced a single contraction, yet my little girl was here and she was healthy. It just seemed like a miracle. It’s amazing to think how Amy came into the world. Even when I was unconscious, my body knew what to do. I’d love to be able to remember giving birth to her, but I’m just grateful that we are both alive and healthy now."
Chastity became comatose after a car accident in 2001. It was discovered upon admission that she was just two weeks pregnant. She carried her baby to full term whilst in a semi-conscious state. Chastity could sometimes look at people when they spoke to her, but could not move or speak. Her doctors decided to induce her, so as to ensure close monitoring of the process. Chastity gave birth vaginally to Alexis Michelle (7lbs, 7oz) in just four hours. Dr Baha Sibai, chief of the department of obstetrics and gynecology at University Hospital in Cincinnati, said Mrs. Cooper "surprised everybody" with a quick delivery and the obstacles she overcame. Her husband believes that she smiled at her baby daughter following her birth, and Chastity's amazing recovery continued over the subsequent years, regaining her cognitive functions, movement and speech. Her son Aaron said in 2013 "She is now doing great... we just hope her next move is getting out of her wheelchair..."
Abby was put into an induced coma after fainting on New Year's Eve. She had been fighting the H1N1 virus which had developed into pneumonia. Abby went into labour naturally at 34 weeks of pregnancy. Doctors reported how she had progressed through the natural stages of birth and, her Grandmother says, her body "actually pushed". Waking up several days later, Abby descibes her son Douglas' birth as a 'miracle', exclaiming "How many people give birth when they're in a coma?!"
Becky was also put into a medically induced coma after contracting H1N1. Her doctor Dr. Asad Sheikh said "She was actually on the ventilator. So really the labor process itself was one that, by and large, occurred with her body responding going into labor on its own." Chase was born and did well in the NICU. Becky was brought out of her coma five weeks later, to meet her son. Becky said "I always thought it was the next day.. I didn't know it was weeks later so it was like - 'Oh, well what happened?"
I'm really pleased about how successful my online hypnobirthing course has been. Subscriptions have been rising month on month since it launched in September 2013, and I'm now able to donate £1 from each purchase to the charity Birthrights.
Most people seem to be based in the UK and America, with some accessing it from Canada, Australia and a smattering of other countries in Europe, Asia and Africa. It's available pretty much anywhere with a wifi connection!
I think that everyone who wants to access hypnobirthing should be able to do so easily and quickly. Folks can often begin their practice within mere minutes of purchase, even from thousands of miles away.
When I first trained in birth hypnosis, hypnobirthing was only available as part of face-to-face antenatal classes. What I love about delivering my hypnobirthing course online via distance learning, is that I can reach a much bigger audience - both geographically, and also financially... For many, £30 is a lot more affordable than £200.
In terms of outcomes, they're pretty good too. My recent postnatal mini survey showed that there was only one emergency caesarean birth out of almost 70 spontaneous births, 90% of mums birthing naturally do so with no medical pain relief, and most babies are born within 6 hours of the first stage. My survey is ongoing and I hope to bring more data to you soon...
Hypnobirthing home study / distance learning can be a great way to prepare for your baby's birth during pregnancy. I'm always on hand to answer your queries too.
"I just wanted to drop you line to let you know that our gorgeous daughter Amara Elizabeth was born on the 24th Nov (only 2 days overdue) and weighed in at 7lb 3oz. I went to Treliske at 1pm for a labour assessment as I was having contractions, but not sure if they were real or practice. I had been suffering with a harsh cough and my coughing bouts also bought on contractions (or so it seemed to me) so we wanted to be clear if this was it. They confirmed that I was indeed in labour and 3cm dilated, but as I had practiced hypnobirthing, they said best for me to go home and put into practice what I had learnt and to come back in the evening when contractions would be closer together 1 min on, 1 min off!
However, we were not at home for long and by 4pm, we were back at Treliske as contractions much more frequent and powerful. They examined me and I was 8cm dilated and transferred straight to a delivery room. Amara was born just before 7pm with the assistance of gas and air only and in her waters - amazing!!
The midwife commented on how relaxed and calm I was throughout and that no doubt contributed to the quick and straightforward delivery. This of course is all down to the hypnobirthing techniques. We had the music playing, lights dimmed and throughout the whole thing I kept thinking of relaxing, releasing, breathing through each sensation and ultimately listening to my body. As you mentioned during the course, I did avoid watching any films/TV programmes of people giving birth as I didn't want any preconceptions about how I should act/how it should be and I think this really worked. I found my primal instincts just took over and I went with what they were telling me!
Thanks so much for introducing us to hypnobirthing, I do strongly feel this contributed greatly to our straightforward, quick and easy birth, so I cannot thank you enough for that!"
A lovely doula testimonial, just in today! Well done to Lian, Paul and little Sebastian - have a safe trip back to Zimbabwe :)
"We came home from Zimbabwe to have our first child as we wanted to be somewhere we felt safe and supported. Our hope, should all go well, was to have a water birth at home but whatever happened we decided we wanted to have the support of a doula to either facilitate the most natural birth possible or to help us navigate 'the system' should anything go awry.
From day one (week 35 for us!) Alice was reassuring and supportive, she provided the hypnobirthing course as part of her doula services and this really helped with our relaxation and mindset especially in the weeks to come!
As our due-date came and went and the days ticked by there was a creeping realisation that we may not be getting the homebirth we were hoping for. At term + 12 we were asked to consider an induction... Alice came straight to our house when we called and helped us discuss our options - we really felt that there was no judgement but having her there as a knowledgeable and impartial facilitator enabled us to be happy with our decision to go in for monitoring but not automatically agree to an induction at that point.
Unfortunately a scan at term +15 indicated that fluid levels were very low and so with this added risk factor we agreed to an induction. Alice agreed to attend us in hospital as the syntocinon drip was set up and at this point it was wonderful to have a familiar face amidst a sea of strangers (I have to note that the care we received at Treliske from the antenatal and delivery teams was nothing but wonderful).
Sebastian was born, happy and healthy, but with a rather large accompaniment of meconium on the 30th May at term + 18!
In the hospital environment, in what became a highly medicalised birth, we felt that Alice's continued presence during labour was not necessary, although we were able to use the hypnobirthing techniques she had taught us to help remain calm and positive about what was happening.
But in the days that followed, including a somewhat stressful time on the postnatal ward (we felt rather 'bullied' and then neglected by the staff there, with the exception of a wonderful maternity support worker), we relied very heavily on her continued support. She was available to us on the phone at all times and visited us twice once we returned home. To 'de-brief' with her was invaluable and I think, alongside the wonderful support of our family, was responsible for such an easy time adjusting to life with a newborn - 3 weeks in and we seem to have escaped the 'baby blues' completely!
We already know that all being well we'd like another member of our family quite soon - we would definitely return to Cornwall to have another baby and would be calling on Alice yet again! It would be wonderful if no.2 comes of their own accord and we get the natural home birth we would like, but nothing in this world can really be planned and especially not labour - being well supported by Alice through the journey made coming to terms with a change of plan so much easier."
It's been a busy few weeks of doula appointments and teaching hypnobirthing home workshops here in Cornwall...
I was also asked by a new mummy to encapsulate her baby's placenta for consumption!
Here's the finished product after being steamed, dehydrated, ground and popped into vegetarian capsules. Around 80-150 pills are normally yielded. This placenta was quite wee, but there's 62 capsules in there - enough for at least 10 days postpartum.
There's a lack of clinical research controlling for the placebo effect, but anecdotally many mums swear by this... Believing the pills to increase milk supply and keep them balanced and upbeat. Mum says:
"My milk's going really good after 5 days and baby being 8 weeks early. I really feel its helping yay! 😊"
I've just checked out if I have any reviews for my 'Positive Birth Preparation' MP3 on Amazon. Since they started selling it in September last year I've had 63 sales and three reviews... All five star!
"This is a Great track to take you through labour from start to finish . I would recommend it to any woman preparing for labour."
"Great track and for a small price under a pound! Can't really go wrong with the relaxation techniques. Yet to use it through actual birthing, only on prep so far."
"My friend recommended this to me as she said it always helped her to sleep and she was always asleep before it had finished. She was right. I have real trouble sleeping and obviously with pregnancy this is exacerbated. I find this really helps. Made me a little emotional at first if I'm honest but really does do the trick and I'm very glad I got it and for the price, well it's amazing."
After a birth I attended recently where a well-meaning midwife exclaimed to my mum:
"You did so well, you didn't need a doula!"
I felt compelled to add the following to my doula page...
"It's a challenge to exactly conceptualise a doula's role... and just like you, we're all different! Some believe in 'mothering the mother', others believe in teaching and empowering parents to 'do it themselves'. But wherever a doula finds herself along that continuum (and she's adaptable depending on your needs), she offers neutral information, guidance and non-judgemental support to the whole family, at all times, no matter how your baby is born.
I like to work with you and your chosen birth partner extensively during the antenatal period. I offer highly regarded hypnobirthing tuition and resources, and we fully explore the birth process, your rights, choices, how to communicate effectively with care-providers, early baby care and more. I've been described by parents as their 'go-to person'.
Subsequently, by the time of the birth my families are very well prepared, relaxed, confident and require little (if any) intensive 'hand-holding'. I work alongside your birth partner in maintaining an optimal space and ensuring that your care remains woman-centred. If you're coping well my presence is simply familiar, reassuring, quietly encouraging and low-key.
"The guide is self-effacing and scanty of words. When her task is accomplished and things have been completed, the people say "We ourselves have achieved it!"
Much in the news today about recent British Medical Journal published research on homebirth safety for mothers.
The study sample included 150,000 low-risk women who gave birth in the Netherlands between 2004-2006.
For women expecting their first babies, their risk of being admitted to intensive care or needing a large blood transfusion was pretty similar for planned homebirths vs planned hospital births:
2.3 per 1000 vs 3.1 per 1000 (respective safety 99.77% vs 99.69%)
For women who had given birth before, their risk of postpartum haemorrhage was significantly less following planned homebirths vs planned hospital births:
19.6 per 1000 vs 37.6 per 1000 (respective safety 98.04% vs 96.24%)
Ank de Jonge, midwife and senior researcher on the study said:
"This comes from a good risk selection system, good transport in place and well-trained midwives."
In response, Dr Tony Falconer, President of the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists said:
"The rate of home birth in the UK is low (2.4%) in comparison to the Netherlands (20%) where the proximity to specialist services with short transfer times is the norm.
"The same advantages are not always available across the UK, so the safety of home birth has to be considered in the context of the availability of local services."
In contrast, Cathy Warwick, chief executive of the Royal College of Midwives welcomed the research, saying that the choice of homebirth should be promoted and available to all low-risk women, but often low staffing levels mean many women who wanted a homebirth are denied that right.
The Birthplace in England study published 2011 also found benefits of homebirth for mothers, namely a reduced 10% risk of having medical interventions for those who planned a homebirth, compared to a 40% risk of such for those who planned a hospital birth.
I've certainly known of families who have, when told on the phone that "there are no midwives available for your homebirth" have insisted upon midwives attending, for personal preference and also valid safety reasons, e.g.
"I will not be putting myself and my baby at increased risk of giving birth in hospital"
- and, sure enough, midwives are 'found' somehow... But not everyone knows that they can decline transfer or would feel comfortable doing so.
Feel free to copy or adapt the following for your birth preferences document if you'e planning a caesarean birth. There are no right or wrong choices, but the following is provided as food for thought. You can totally own this birth!
Your preferences should be fully discussed with your care providers during pregnancy, and this plan also serves to remind them on the day.
Some expectant parents who are planning vaginal births choose to staple a 'just in case' caesarean plan to their birth preferences too...
Thanks for being part of our baby's birth! The following preferences assume that all is well. If anything changes please keep me fully informed. I plan to be an active participant in my baby's birth:
IV to be placed in my left arm (non-dominant side)
Our own birth music to be played in theatre
Please help us to have a calm, quiet, respectful atmosphere
Gown and ECG to be arranged to allow for skin-to-skin
Ask me if I'd like the drapes lowered to see my baby being born
Please birth my baby from my body as slowly and calmly as possible
Please wait for my baby to begin breathing before clamping the cord
Place my baby on my chest ASAP
At any times I am not holding my baby, my birth partner will do so
Do not announce our baby's gender- we want to discover this ourselves
Our baby is to receive oral / injection of vitamin K
We will / will not be keeping our baby's placenta
These photographs are from the birth of our youngest Oska who was born via c-section in July 2010. The one on the right is a photograph Jay took of me watching Oska being checked over and wrapped up before being brought back for our first snuggles. This was such a huge moment for me as we lost a baby before getting pregnant with Oska and I spent the whole pregnancy in fear ... Seeing him out of me, hearing him crying was the most blissfully relaxing moment, just complete and utter joy. The photo on the left I took of Jay having his first cuddle with Oska whilst I was still being stitched up ... I'm pretty sure the mws/OBs thought I had lost my mind ... still worth every odd look to see forever how tenderly your partner is even after being a seasoned daddy of four! :)
Limitations... This is a small sample of women who chose to practice hypnobirthing. Data is included from all women who judged themselves to have practiced 'enough' or 'extensively' by the onset of labour. Women practiced in different ways. Data is excluded from those experiencing rare complications that typically affect just 0.5% to 3% of babies nationally.
Results... The following bar charts display results as percentages
*If births involving syntocinon for induction or augmentation are excluded, the epidural rate was 0%
I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?
Then he is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you've never shared me before. I hear you telling me in your own way, Please love only me. And I hear myself telling you in mine, I can't, knowing, in fact, that I never can again.
You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.
But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying him - as though I am betraying you.
But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.
More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast. But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two.
There are new times - only now, we are three.
I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other. I watch how he adores you - as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments.
And I begin to realise that I haven't taken something from you, I've given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you.
I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.
And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you - only differently.
And although I realise that you may have to share my time, I now know you'll never share my love. There's enough of that for both of you - you each have your own supply.
I love you - both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.
For the next twenty years the seaside town of Ilfracombe will play host to 'Verity', Damien Hirst's 70 foot statue of a pregnant woman brandishing a sword. Half her torso is presented in an anatomical style revealing her sleeping baby within. Verity, meaning 'truth' in Italian, represents a “modern allegory of truth and justice."
The local council has received 100 plus complaints from local residents, brandishing the statue outrageous, immoral, bizarre, obscene, offensive, disgusting, distasteful, embarrassing, grotesque, disrespectful, insensitive, inappropriate, a monstrosity, tasteless, ugly, vulgar and not in good taste.
How divorced are we as a society from the realities of being human?! My favourite comment on Verity, on a Facebook thread, simply says:
"She is a fertility Goddess. Oh we forgot about her. We thought cars were more important. She is awesome."
Verity reminds me of something written in a Guardian article I was sent by a friend and former client yesterday. Frances Harrison, on the relationship between being a mother and war correspondant, contemplates how:
"As a mother, I found it harder to fathom the extraordinary cruelty otherwise gentle people are capable of in wars. At night in Sri Lanka, I would sit under the ceiling fan and rock my tiny baby to sleep in my arms, haunted by the stories I reported by day: tales of torture, mass graves and the agony of the missing fighters' mothers who never received a corpse to mourn. Both sides reeled out casualty statistics like cricket scores, forgetting the people they talked about were once someone's baby, loved and protected. It made it hard to get excited about the military hardware side of war – it didn't matter much if it was a T56 or AK-47 that did the killing. In the male-dominated world of foreign reporting I never admitted it, but motherhood did bring a new perspective to the story."
Verity also reminds me that as childbearing women we are powerful, amazing and strong. How striking is the contrast between this and the mainstream perception of pregnant women as delicate, vulnerable and stupid? Similar to Marianne Williamson's poem:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?..."
In the year 2009/2010, 8.3% of women giving birth at Royal Cornwall Hospital (Treliske) had an elective caesarean section (NHS Information Centre).
The reasons for choosing a caesarean are varied. For those experiencing a 'low risk' pregnancy and labour, intervention-free, vaginal birth is normally the most advantageous way for a baby to be born (Enkin 2000).
For those who require help - for either physical or unresolved psychological reasons, scheduled caesarean birth from 39 weeks can also be a low risk option, according to Dr Anthony Falconer, Royal College of Obstetrics and Gynaecology President:
"Recent advances in medical science have made the procedure much safer and for most women the complications of this operation are low" (press statement 2011).
Pregnant women should be offered evidence-based information and support to enable them to make informed decisions about childbirth.
Recently updated NICE guidelines state that women who haven't had any problems in their pregnancy, having a first, planned caesarean birth, may be at an increased risk of experiencing the following, compared to if they had a planned vaginal birth:
- baby admitted to neonatal intensive care: 13.9% vs 6.3% - hysterectomy caused by postpartum haemorrhage: 0.03% vs 0.01% - cardiac arrest: 0.19% vs 0.03% - longer hospital stay: 3.96 days vs 2.56 days
(Nice clinical guideline 132, published November 2011)
*A normal birth is one that avoids the following, according to the Maternity Care Working Party:
induction of labour (with prostaglandins, oxytocics or ARM)
epidural or spinal
forceps or ventouse
The table doesn't cover local data on the intervention rates (induction, instrumental delivery, caesarean etc) of births that transferred into hospital from a midwifery-led setting. However, recent data from all NHS trusts in England found that women planning a birth in a freestanding MLU experienced a 17% intervention rate, and women planning a homebirth experienced a 10% intervention rate (compared to those who planned a hospital birth, who experienced an average 40% intervention rate).
A large study published in 2011 compared death and injury rates for the babies of 64,538 low risk women giving birth in a variety of settings in England between April 2008 and April 2010.
The women planned births either at home or in midwifery-led birth units (like Penrice / Helston) or in consultant-led hospitals (like Treliske).
Birth was found to be very safe with over 99% of babies having good outcomes wherever their mothers planned to give birth
For women not expecting their first baby, there was no difference in outcomes wherever they planned to give birth
For first time mothers, births planned at hospital were safe for babies 99.57% of the time, and births planned at home were safe for babies 99.07% of the time. The authors state this small difference is unexplained, but asserted that homebirth is still safe for first time mothers
It's also interesting to note that women planning a hospital birth experienced a 40% medical intervention rate (e.g caesarean, forceps, ventouse) compared to those who planned births at a freestanding midwifery-led unit (17%) and those who planned a homebirth (10%)
'Active Birth' posters adorn many a labour room wall. Labouring women are featured in standing, squatting and kneeling positions. The idea is that lying down flat on your back is counterproductive to the normal birth process.
Few women instinctively choose this position if they are confident and informed about birth physiology... But despite many improvements in most areas in recent decades (particularly since the 1993 government report Changing Childbirth), the bed still plays a central role in many hospital births, and is a powerful psychological trigger for encouraging a passive, 'patient' mindset.
The concept of Active Birth doesn't just mean walking around in labour and giving birth off of your back. It most importantly means that the woman is in control of her own labour, assisted by her birth partner and midwife as her advocates. This means being enabled to make fully informed choices, having time and space to labour on her own terms, and in whatever way feels right, no matter how she has her baby.
Many of us birthworkers in Cornwall have been trained by Active Birth founder Janet Balaskas. Active birth principles are interwoven within my Cornwall hypnobirthing classes
A rally led by Janet Balaskas 30 years ago paved the way for women to choose active birth to bear their children.
"The head obstetrician at the hospital said active birth was animalistic behaviour, and that humans were not animals and should lie down to give birth,"
BBC World Service speaks to the founder of the movement: